Feminist?

When I was a young girl, I would arm-wrestle the boys, and win. I knew then, what I still know now . . . I am a strong woman. I always have been, I always will be. (I am not just talking about physically.) I believe I am just as capable of doing anything in the world I want to do -- just as capable as a man. I believe women are strong, beautiful, intelligent, heavenly creatures, and women are a powerful force for good in the world (perhaps the most powerful force for good!). I believe our Heavenly Father loves his daughters -- just as much as his sons -- and He perhaps adores them, just a little more, because they are His girls. (If you have a daughter, you know what I mean.) Women are amazing, women are powerful, women are glorious. I want you to know how I feel about women, because I also want to declare: I am NOT a feminist.

I have heard the word, "feminist," so much lately, that I thought I would take a whack at writing down my feelings on the subject, as writing helps me get all the jumbled-up ideas in my head to clear, and make sense.

I recently read a blog of a woman who declared herself a, "Mormon Feminist." It was a very interesting and thought-provoking post, filled with good humor, and clever ideas. She is very persuasive, and enticing with her words. She has to be exciting, she makes money off of her blog (you have to keep it fresh and controversial to do that, right?). I actually think she is a great lady, and if I knew her personally, I am sure we would be friends. I like her. But as I read through her ideas, and also the hundreds of comments she received, I realized that strange things are happening out there, strange ideas, strange motives, and desires . . . for woman to have power and total "equality" with men (whatever that means?). And as I read through the comments, I'm not entirely convinced it is "equality" these newly declared feminists want. It seemed to me rather than being "equal," they want a recognized dominance of the female gender, and all her superior-splendor. It is not being equal that these women seemed to desire, but rather, being better. They want it recognized, socialized, spiritualized. They want it to be known: Women are better than men.

I have also noticed a need for people to belong to a labeled group; people try to find some label they can identify themselves as, so they can know and declare who they are, and belong. Yes, you must belong somewhere, right? You must identify with some label . . . you must fit into some group. I know that being a feminist is an old notion and label, but it is being declared in new and interesting ways. Very persuasive, and even damaging ways.

Like I said, I am not a feminist. I am a woman. I am a woman who adores, admires, respects, and esteems men for the glorious, amiable, outstanding, creatures that they are. They are sons of God. Strong, brave, courageous, and powerful. Men are amazing. I know it. I have seen it. I have seen such tremendous examples of fantastic men in my life. I have seen them overcome weakness, work miracles, bless babies, baptize children, and love their families. I have seen men work long, hard hours, to provide, and protect their families -- only thinking of others, not themselves. I have seen men who sacrifice personal desires for the greater good of the family. I have seen tremendous examples of the finest of God's creations: His sons.

These Mormon feminists do not seem to understand why women do not hold the Priesthood in our church. They want equality in every way. The Priesthood is not some mythical, magical, power that only men can tap into. The Priesthood is simply: SERVICE. It is the power of God, that can only be used in serving Him. As women, we come hard-wired with the desire to serve etched in our very bones: to love, to nurture, to have compassion . . . that is ours. A gift. It is a sacred gift as noble and as powerful as the Priesthood. We simply do not need the Priesthood as women. Do you not think a Mother's prayer is as powerful as a Priesthood blessing? Consider that, for awhile.

God loves his daughters and his sons. Just as I love my daughter and my sons. It is not about dominance, or equality; it is about fulfilling our specific -- and unique -- roles as men and women, of faith.

I have a job to do, my husband has a job to do -- Together. The jobs are of "equal" importance in the eyes of God. They are not "equal" jobs to the world, of course, but who cares what the world thinks, anyway? Not me.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World, states: "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." Full text: here 

I am a woman, and I don't have a problem with this declaration. I am eternally grateful for it. I love that fathers are to preside over the family in love and righteousness. I want my husband to stand tall, and be a man, and lead and guide our family in love. I want that. I love that. I am more than happy to oblige. I think sometimes women constantly brow-beat their men into feminist-ideal-submission, and so the men give-up the role of "the one who presides" in the home, and they just let the women do it -- since she will do a much better job anyways, just as she declares she will. 

You women, give men a chance, and you just might be surprised! Build them up, not tear them down. They are not the enemy, they are our companions! Tell them how amazing and astonishingly good they are. Love them, respect them, give them the admiration and gentle love that they really desire. They might just rise to the occasion. Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy? Well, it's not just for children! 

I would say to the Mormon Women Feminists, "Get over yourselves!" Show the kind of love and respect to your husband/men that you desire from him/them, and you just might be very pleased with what you get in return! 

Newsflash: Men need love and respect for what they do, too! 

Shocking, I know! 

I love noble, honest, hardworking, faithful, magnificent men, who love and serve God. They have my utmost respect -- they deserve it. I particularly love my husband and the father of my children. He is my best friend. We work together, he and I. And I absolutely adore him, and he adores me.

I believe there is nothing more beautiful than a man and woman, walking hand-in-hand, side-by-side, together, through life. We each have our different roles, because we ARE different. If you have not noticed . . .  men and women are very different, and they are meant to be so. We are meant to compliment each other with our differences -- not argue about who wants to be the man, and wear the pants. Dear feminists, don't you get exhausted from it all? Relax. Stop arguing. Stop whining. And start working together . . . for the greater good.

It does not matter who takes out the garbage, or who does the dishes . . . do them together if you like, or switch, or better yet, make the kids do it! What does matter is that we allow men to be men, and women to be women, and that we show each other respect and love. Yes, women absolutely deserve love and attention for how glorious they are, and the amazing things they can accomplish . . . and men deserve it, too.

Like I said, I am a strong women, and proud to be so. I am equally proud to have a strong man at my side, to walk through this life, and into eternity. I am so grateful for him, and for all that he has done for our family, and the personal sacrifices he, and I, have both made to create the life, and family, we both desire. We are a team. We work together.

And, as it were, I do identify myself with a label and group, I do fit in somewhere . . .

My name is Mari van Ormer: I am a daughter of God. 

I love Him.

And He loves me.