Sweet Notes of Encouragement

I often wonder if I am making a difference. I write, I teach, and give some small portion of my time to try and uplift others, and offer whatever abilities and talents I might have to share goodness and light. I do not do it for praise, or some other purposes. I make no money from my blog, teaching, or speaking, and I actually have to pay to keep my .com going. I share my thoughts, my feelings, and my experiences, because I feel compelled to do it.

Something drives me to do it. A force beyond my own.

If I can make a difference in the life of just one person, then my efforts -- whatever they may be -- are worth it to me. Because one person is never just one person. That one person could change the world! I write, teach, etc., for the one. 

I receive much of my validation from my Heavenly Father. I have always had a special connection with Him. I have some thoughts that enter my mind, of course, that are not pleasant, and I can get very discouraged at times -- but there is a more powerful voice that conquers all doubt and fear, and that is the voice of God. I try to hear His voice, and when I listen to Him, I am filled with hope and confidence -- a confidence that defies my natural tendency to weakness, worry, and fear.

Though I find contentment and confidence from that validation from my Heavenly Father, it is always nice to hear it from others, too. I would carry on with what I am doing if I never had any feedback. If I were writing for myself alone, or speaking to an empty classroom, I would still do it. Because I love it. And it makes me happy. And it is what God wants me to do.

However, the other day, I received a note from a teenager at church that really touched my heart, and made all my efforts well worth it. It was a precious note, and a well-timed boost for my spirit. (READ NOTE ABOVE.)

This same boy has asked me to participate in a Future Leaders event at the high school. From what I understand, I will be part of a panel of selected people, and the youth can ask questions, and have an unscripted discussion about pretty much anything. He said he heard the word "courage" as one of the topics, and thought of me. How sweet is that? I am super excited about the event. It should be really fun. I love the youth!

I do have stacks of notes, letters, cards, comments, and gifts -- people have been so sweet to me, and my family. I am so grateful for all of the encouragement showered upon us, it means the world to me.

To "encourage" means: to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope.

I think I found a new favorite word.

Defying Gravity: 2014

I spend 95% of my time feeling pretty darn good. 5% of my time I spend feeling a little sad, and that is mostly just right before I go to sleep. Once I am asleep, I feel great!

I write of sorrow, and I feel it deeply -- but my desire for joy wins out most days, and I simply want to choose to be happy. If I choose to, I feel happy. If I forget, I feel bummed-out. It takes effort, but happiness is worth the effort. I know the choice is mine every day.

I have spent much of 2014 defying the gravity of sorrow and sadness. It is possible to rise from the ashes of pain and emerge victorious. It is possible to defy the darkness with light, and replace tears with a smile. I do it all the time. I will continue to fight for joy in the future.

We can all choose to focus on the light, rather than the dark.

Here is some video proof that I still smile and have fun. My kids were cracking-up watching it. I love this song, and I think I have improved it. However, you may want to plug your ears at the end. :)

 If you have gravity to defy, then make it happen! You have a whole new year before you to FLY!

Everyone deserves a chance to fly!

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What is Love?

I have been thinking about love lately. Love is so powerful, yet hard to define. It is a force so strong that people are willing to fight for it, live for it, and die for it.

Every good story has love woven into its pages, keeping us guessing, and anticipating the moment the lovers finally connect and smooch, or hold hands. We sometimes watch 3 hour movies about Hobbits, just waiting for the moment of love to unfold at the very end of Middle Earth battle scenes. Sometimes the love events we partake of are spilt into 6 episodes we gleefully devour, as we wait for Mr. Darcy to embrace Elizabeth, in a moment so pure and divine, it makes my heart flutter just thinking about it.

We give our lives for it in reality, and even spend our time dreaming about it in fantasy. But what is it?

What is love?

As I live now -- parted from the man that I love -- I find that I just love him more than ever. The love that I had for him has just expanded into something even greater than before. There is no end to it. It reaches across all boundaries and into forever. It is not something physical, but something very spiritual. It is something deep past explaining, and beyond grasp of truly understanding in this life. Though we can get a beautiful glimpse of it. We love as mortals now, but what of immortal love? What of a love that binds for all eternity?

What does it mean to really love someone?

Charles and I were engaged before he told me that he loved me. We were walking down the mountain after he proposed, and I asked him why he had never said "I love you" before. He gave me an answer that I have never forgotten. He told me that for him, plenty of people had said the words, but had not shown that love in their actions towards him. The words were meaningless, unless they could be followed up with love in action, in deed, in service. Charles told me he had hoped that he had shown me that he loved me, by his actions towards me. In that moment, I began to understand love.

Indeed, Charles had shown me love. I knew he loved me. And I loved him. That's why we got married!

But, being a girl, the words were -- and still are -- important to me. I don't know why it is so important, but hearing the declaration of love in words out loud, or on paper, is meaningful to me  -- along with the actions of love. Words are powerful. Very powerful, actually. Words of affection and love are to a woman's heart what a warm blanket is to the shivering body, on a crisp winter morning. I know this because I am a woman. But I have it on good authority that men, too, appreciate affirmation of your undying love. Loving words to your spouse are never as pearls before swine. Cast your warm fuzzy words freely and often!

Charles and I both learned how to love each other in word and deed, over time. Words were easy for me, deeds were easy for him -- we both taught each other how to love better. We were both better for being together. No doubt about it.

Love has to be nurtured. I think sometimes we forget it is a privilege to share life with someone. It is a privilege to love someone. It is easy, really easy, to grow complacent and forget to keep the fire of love going. Love takes work, it takes effort. But it is so worth it. Do you have something better to do with your time and feelings? No. Love trumps all. Everything else is in place (or should be) to nurture love in relationships and families. You work, to live, to love. Not love, to live, to work.  Obviously the world we live in is not perfect, but we should still make love and strengthening marriage a priority.

I have found that life is sometimes easier without a companion. Shocking? Not really. It is easier for me to be selfish, and to do things exactly how I want them to be done. I don't have to consult with anyone, or work things out with anyone -- it is just me, and the children. I call all the shots around here. We watch the movies I want to watch, and I sleep in the middle of the bed. If I want to paint the whole house neon colors, I could do it -- no one is going to stop me. If the house isn't clean, who cares? If the laundry isn't folded, oh well. Being without a companion has its perks.

So, why is it that I would give anything to have the love of my life back by my side?

Why would I give up every selfish thing to share love with someone else?

Because love is powerful, that's why.

And there is nothing greater on this earth then sharing love with someone.

I would gladly sleep on "my side" of the bed again, just to have Charles next to me. I wish he were here so I could consult with him on all the decisions for our family. I miss cuddling with him while watching movies. I miss his smile and his jokes. I miss enjoying his laughter. I miss his help with everything. I miss having someone to love. Oh, how I ache for him! Oh, the tears that have soaked my pillow for him!

Being without a mortal companion is lame. Living without love in this life is painful. Make no mistake about it. Sharing life with someone is a gift. Do not take it for granted. Do not take love for granted.

I loved being in love. I loved loving someone. There is the promise of forever, but there is also the reality of living in mortality now, and that is the hard part. The very hard part.

But being in love was worth it. And is still worth it... despite the pain I get to carry for the rest of my mortal life.

Charles is worth it.

Every. Single. Tear.

There is a moment at the end of the latest Hobbit movie, that describes the pain of love and loss well. I almost lost control of my tears in the theater. I will not say who says what, in case you have not seen it, but here are the words:

Question: "If this is love, I don't want it! Take it away from me, please! Why does it hurt so much? "

Answer: "Because it was real." 

The love I have with Charles is real, and that is why it hurts so much to have him gone. But it is also why I can carry on in hope for a glorious day of reunion. It is a battle now, living here and longing for someone who is in another world, that I cannot visit. It is frustrating, to say the least. But I soldier on, with courage as my comfort. And love as my force of hope for good things to come.

Charles taught me how to love better, he really did. His actions were daily proof of his love for me, and our family. We learned in love, together. I hope that he feels my words of love were matched by my actions. Though the words "I love you" are pretty when written or spoken, he was right...

Love -- true love -- is found in service.

The more you serve someone, the more you love them.

And when you have two people serving each other in marriage...

That is powerful. 

That is love. 

The kind of love that can last forever.

It is the kind of love worth fighting for!

What Does My Future Hold?

The road before me seems to be shadowed. I feel like I can only see a few steps ahead, and then my vision of things to come is blanketed in mystery. I know that no one knows what is coming in life. No one can foresee events in the future, and where the road of life will take them. We all have life plans, but plans change. Oh, how I know it. 

Life is full of wanted and unwanted change that thrusts us into a fork in the road. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and we can only but choose which direction to take. We can choose our road, and move our feet forward, but we never know where the path will ultimately take us in this life. 

With the new year approaching, I find myself feeling anxious. This last year has been such a whirlwind of intense change, learning, and growing. I scarcely had time to breathe in the major events as they became a quick flash of memory, just moments after they occurred. I have witnessed so many life-changing moments. I have participated in events and activities I never dreamed of. I have traveled and explored a variety of new places. I have learned how to live this new life of mine as a widow. I have discovered a "me" I never knew before. I have been shown my strengths, and been exposed to my weaknesses. I have been tossed in the Refiner's Fire, and I have had my fortitude tested. 

As I consider what I have been through, I stand stronger than I ever imagined. I do not say that in pride, but in sheer amazement. I am strong. I really am. I never knew it before. I know it now. 

As I reflect on this past year, I cannot help but have hope for a bright future ahead. I do not believe I have been required to pass through such difficult trials, just so I could grow in my suffering, and continue suffering indefinitely. I have to believe that there are bright and joyful days ahead for me. I have to believe the best is yet to come -- even in this life... not just in Heaven. 

I know I am meant for certain things. I know who I am supposed to become, I am just not quite sure how to get there? I have a spiritual road map I can follow, I have been given guidance and direction from my Heavenly Father, but I still have to make the choices to get me to where I need to be. I have to choose. I have to act. I have to decide what I will -- and will not -- do. 

I have not yet had any inclination of a direction to go, or which road to choose. I see a few steps ahead, and then nothing -- it goes dark. I have many swirling questions and choices in my mind, none of which require an immediate response, but they all require an eventual decision. At some point, I will have to decide to decide. I know this. I really do. But for now, I feel that I should just steady the course I am on. I should not deviate, just yet. I feel like there might just be events unfolding somewhere, somehow -- events that may just effect my decisions in the future, even the near future. 

I cannot explain this feeling, but something in my gut tells me to be patient, because something is coming. Events are in motion that will make my choice clear. It is not time for me to make huge changes, or life-altering decisions. The time will come to choose and to act. But it is not this day. Not yet. But it is coming. I am ever watchful for my beacon of action to be lit, so I can respond. 

For now, I am inclined to sit awhile at the fork in the road, breathe in-and-out, take some pictures, write about my view, and continue raising my family with faith. This is the path that I see before me, for now. It is all that I know, it is all that feels right, right now. I know it will change. Maybe even soon. I know I could change everything in a moment, just by making choices -- but I feel it would be "jumping the gun" as it were. There is a race to be run, I just need to get on track, and wait for the green light. 

I feel I am currently preparing for a journey... an unknown and mysterious trek. Not necessarily a journey of shifting location, but perhaps a pilgrimage of edification. Eventually, I will choose which road to take, and then, perhaps, my future might become a little more clear to me. Perhaps a few more steps on the path will open to my view -- when I decide which road to take. 

It will, undoubtedly, be a road less traveled. 

My circumstances and disposition demand it. 

Onward, ever onward. 

Fear Not

I created this picture today. The girl represents me. The angels -- my ancestors and loved ones -- represent having courage to face the trials of life. I cling to courage, and the angels cling to me. I am not alone. 

"Fear not. For they that be with us are more than they that be with them."  2 Kings 6:16 

Christmas

I love the day after Christmas. It is the best! I will be back to write more later, maybe in the evening -- there is too much fun to be had! For now, here are some pictures from Christmas Eve. There will be many more pictures and thoughts to come! I sure love these kiddos of mine. They are super awesome, and part of the army of angels in my life. I am so grateful they are mine forever!

Merry Christmas!

The light of Christ is in our home. We are happy. We have prayed that Charles will be with us, and that it will not feel any different. I fully expect our prayers to be answered. Why? Because Charles loves Christmas, and he will want to spend it with us, just as much as we want him here. I know that Heavenly Father will hear our prayers. He already has. 

I am finding myself much more comfortable with having Charles around in spirit -- though physical would be preferred of course -- but having him around in spirit is like having pure joy infused throughout my soul. It is an indescribable feeling. I am discovering how truly deep our love is, and how timeless and limitless our love is -- it will take an eternity with Charles for me to be satisfied. As a family we are growing more comfortable with the reality of how things are, and our new relationship with Charles/daddy. It is different, but now it has taken on a whole new romantic, and other-worldy level for all of us. 

With death, Charles has become an immortal hero to us. He is not restricted to mortal ability and frailty. He is powerful, and magnificent. He is happy, and free. I know he still stands guard over our family in a way more powerful than ever before. It is an awesome reality. He is always near us, never doubt that. He is our protector, and guardian. Oh, how we love him! 

So, my friends and family, please don't worry about us. We are golden. Truly. We are so very blessed. We feel no hole in our hearts this Christmas -- there is no emptiness. No despair. We have peace and joy. We have the spirit of Christ that has blanketed us in His love. So far, it has been one of the best Christmas times ever. The only tears we have cried are of joy and gratitude. 

I believe there is Christmas in the Spirit World, too. Of course there is! Actually, I believe that the Christmas Spirit -- that thick, tangible light that we feel -- might just be our ancestors and loved ones on the other side of the veil, gathering near us to join with us in celebrating the birth of Christ. Is that not a pleasant thought? The angels are just as excited and grateful for Jesus' birth as we mortals are! Perhaps it is they who fill the world with the Christmas Spirit? Perhaps the angels fill the world with the Spirit of Christ? Just a thought. Angels we have heard on High, indeed! 

Remember to put Christ in Christmas. 

He is everything. 

Oh, how we love Jesus here in the van Ormer home! 

Angels We Have Heard

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I absolutely love this video. I cry every time the angels appear. I have a special love for angels now, more than ever. For a fantastic article on how angels communicate with us click: HERE. I would have thought it a "nice" article before Charles died, but now it is amazing to me. It has really helped to answer some of my questions.

Here are some snippets from the article "Angels we Have Heard": 

“Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near. Sometimes their assignments are very grand and have significance for the whole world. Sometimes the messages are more private. Occasionally the angelic purpose is to warn. But most often it is to comfort, to provide some form of merciful attention, guidance in difficult times. …

“… I testify that angels are still sent to help us, even as they were sent to help Adam and Eve, to help the prophets, and indeed to help the Savior of the world Himself. … Such ministrations will be to the righteous until the end of time.”²

Because “angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost” (2 Nephi 32:3), it’s possible that when we perceive the voice of the Spirit in our lives, it may be the result of angelic ministration. Of course, the Holy Ghost can and does speak directly to us and can dwell in our hearts (see D&C 8:2), but it seems that angels always deliver their messages through the medium of the Spirit, whether they are unseen and speaking in a “still small voice” or standing before our eyes and speaking with a “voice of thunder” (1 Nephi 17:45).

I want you to know I believe in angels. They can communicate with us through the power of the Holy Ghost. I am learning how to recognize the whisperings, and the deep burning in my heart. I am learning to see not with my eyes, but with my heart. 

"Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see." - The Polar Express 

Believe and listen. Believe and feel. Believe and see. 

Angels are among us, always. 

I am never alone. 

And neither are you. 

To The Person Who Stole my Car

This is an article that my brother-in-law wrote for the newspaper in Wasilla, Alaska. Please share if you know anyone in Alaska. They are a family of "givers" and would never ask for help, but I am sure some extra love and kindness would be greatly appreciated this time of year. Please contact me at mari4u@hotmail.com if you hear anything, or if you would like to help make their Christmas bright. Thank you!! 

To The Person Who Stole My Car

Last night I went into the grocery store. When I returned to my car, there was no car. You cleverly used your obvious mechanical talents to drive or haul it away to wherever you are.

I offer you a deal, but first let me explain a few things.

First, my Jeep is a collection of metal, plastic, and rubber. If you need it bad enough to steal it, I won’t miss it much, and in time, I’ll get over it.

Earlier in the evening my 8 year old cub scout son, Stephen, and I were working together on his Heritages belt loop. We designed and assembled a poster board presentation with the flags of countries his ancestors came from. We read together a history of his ancestor, Wee Granny Mary Murdoch, who at the stature of 4 feet 7 inches and the age of 74 left Scotland to pull handcarts from Nebraska to Utah. Wee Grannie’s desire to join her family and firm commitment to her faith got her as far as Chimney Rock Nebraska where she died and was buried in a shallow grave on the side of the trail. Those who knew her noted that “she never murmured or complained” in her many hardships and difficult circumstances.

Stephen and I both shared some tears, hugs, and love for each other. This is our family story. It’s what binds us together. Wee Grannie’s spirit lingers near us at times and reminds us to move forward despite life’s difficulties.

So, Stephen’s poster has the name, Murdoch, attached to Scotland. A land that we have never visited but whose blood we feel in our veins. Stephen’s cub scout presentation last night was to include his poster and some simple facts about his family. However, I instead found myself standing alone in a dark and windy Wasilla Carr's store parking lot with no car in sight. The first thing Stephen, with his childlike glow and sparkle in his eyes, asked when I returned home was, “dad, did you bring my scout book?”

This hurts. If you must have the car, we’ll get over it. We invite you to return the other stuff.

I have to explain to Stephen in the morning where his cherished scout book, our kilts, and hiking staffs went. I wish you could see the tears. These things represent some of our best times and memories together. Please return them.

I hope, especially during Christmas time, that you can fix this thing you’ve done. We are eager to forgive and forget and move forward. Wee Granny would expect no less.

Sincerely,
Ray and Stephen Hafen 

For the news article link click: HERE 

Please keep an eye out for this vehicle: 

Green 2003 Jeep Cherokee
Broken tail light left rear
License # DXF244

Feeling Deeply this Christmas

I love Christmas. During this holiday season I have felt very deeply. I have felt some twinges of sorrow, but more than anything I have felt incredibly happy. My heart is just bursting with gratitude for my Savior, Jesus Christ. People may think that Christmas would be a very sad time for our family, especially this year, but please know that this is not the case. The Spirit of Christ has settled on our home, and we dwell in happiness and light. I insist upon living in the light. I despise dwelling in sadness, in the dark. Ick! 

Being sad is not for me. I like being happy. So that is what I choose.

Sure we absolutely miss Charles, and we feel moments of sadness -- but it is not all-consuming. In fact, I have had moments of pure happiness where I just want to squeal in delight. Sometimes the joy that fills my soul is so intense that I fear I might burst into a million joyful pieces. My happiest moments have been spent in the company of others, giving service, and being served. If I have felt sad it is in moments when I am doing none of those things.

I have felt the Spirit of Christ this year. And it feels wonderful.

So, speaking of feelings...

A few weeks ago we went to temple square. It was the first time I had been back since the spring visit with Charles, the week before he died (see post: HERE). I do not avoid places of memory or deep feelings, I actually run to them. I want to go and feel. I have discovered a strange thing about myself... I am not afraid to feel deeply.

While at temple square I had a chance to embrace some of those deep feelings. I remembered some of the conversations that Charles and I had in the spring. Everyone else had left early, but Charles and I lingered so I could take some pictures. We had some important time alone. While strolling the temple grounds we discussed a dream that had been pressing on his mind. (Read about his dream: HERE.) Charles was walking around with the clot in his leg. It was burning and aching, and he was not himself, he was tired and in pain. It was the clot that worked its way up to his lungs, and ended his mortal life. I had no idea then that it would be the last time spent at temple square together. I had no idea then that my life was going to change completely in a matter of days. I had no idea Charles was going to die, and leave me a widow.

My mind filled with memory as I walked the temple grounds a few weeks ago. But I did not cry. I actually felt joy. I am learning better how to feel deeply, but live in the moment. Being at the temple was a happy moment.

I am generally pretty durable and rarely cry or lose it in public, but there are moments when the spirit touches my heart so strongly that all I can do is cry. I don't particularly like losing it in front of a crowd -- or even friends and family -- but I enjoy having my heart touched with overwhelming emotion. It makes me feel amazing, even when it hurts. Of course it hurts, my spirit is being exercised and stretched, just like the muscles experience when physically pushed to their limits. The more I am stretched spiritually, the stronger my spirit gets. That is true for everyone. It is not easy, or even fun, but it is why we are here. You can try to run from getting spiritual exercise, but good luck with that!

I will not pretend that it does not hurt with great intensity to feel so much all the time now, but I can feel myself growing. I find myself grateful for some of my personality traits and quirks that I did not understand very well before now. From the time I was a little girl I used to pick up heavy objects and see how far I could carry them, just for fun. I recall picking up a huge tree stump and hauling it on my back and walking the shoreline of a lake until I could not carry it anymore. I just wanted to test my strength. Now I know what I was doing... I was preparing for my future. I was preparing to carry a heavy burden on my shoulders.

I do carry a heavy burden. But I get stronger everyday, and with Jesus my burden has been made light. I am in awe of that reality, actually. When I think of Jesus' light, I think about how light he has allowed me to feel, despite the trial I have faced. His light can blast away all darkness and despair, if you allow Him in, and let Him dry your tears.

I really believe that crying is not a bad thing, and feeling deeply is not a bad thing. It makes me feel alive and is far superior to feeling numb. Sometimes I think it would be better if we all embrace our feelings more and allow them to flow through us, rather than fight against them. It is kind of like relaxing on a roller-coaster ride. It does not feel natural, but if you just calm down and breathe, the experience is so much more enjoyable than if you panic, or tense-up. We are meant to feel things in this life -- joy and pain, and everything in between. It is good to feel. Trust me, feeling something is better than feeling nothing!

The Savior can help you through it all. Even if you feel numb.

With that being said, I have been enjoying this holiday season, and all that it has had to offer. There are times when I really wish Charles was with me, but right when I think that, I am reassured that he is with me. We may be physically separated, but we are not spiritually separated. When I say things like, "I feel him near," I am not just saying it, I know he is near. If you have experienced the death of a loved one, you know the feeling. And it is powerful.

I have prayed that this will be the happiest Christmas ever, and that Charles will be permitted to be with us, more than normal. Charles loves Christmas. Most of the year he was super-frugal, but at Christmas he knew how to do it right. He loved the magic of Christmas, as much as I do. I know he will be with us, and I anticipate feeling deeply -- especially on Christmas Eve. I am looking forward to it! Tears and all!

There have been so many acts of kindness shown to our family. Someone is doing the 12 days of Christmas for us (I will blog about that later), and it just makes our day! Just having others extend a hand of love and kindness is uplifting and so meaningful to our family. I cannot express to you how much it means, and what joy it brings to me, and especially the children! To those of you who have shown love to us... THANK YOU!

May the Spirit of Christ fill your heart this Christmas, as it has mine.

It's time to let Him in and feel. 

Merry Christmas! 

Here are some pictures from our time at temple square a few weeks ago...

Returning to My Savior Broken and Weary

I saw myself being presented to the Savior. The veil began to be taken from my mind. My eyes came upon the Savior and He looked like me.

How great shall be my joy when I can stand blameless with my Savior, Jesus Christ. After living my life on Earth, after being tested, and tested, by the Lord. Being constantly tempered, and chastened, and perfected....

If I can make it through all of these tests and meet my Savior, if I do well at all of my tests, I may just find I have become like Him. How great would be my joy if I could have that moment. To return to my Savior broken and weary from this life, to find I had become like him. That he might be pleased with me.

That would be the best!

-Charles

Thanksgiving in Arizona

We spent Thanksgiving with my brothers in Arizona. It was a quick trip, but we wanted to pop over after our California adventure, and spend some time with my family for the holiday. It was so wonderful to be with family. If you want to know my beliefs about family click: HERE.

It was so beautiful in Arizona. The area where my brother's family lives was particularly wonderful. I was actually born in Arizona, and lived there for 4 years before moving to Alaska. I can't say that it feels like returning home when I go there, but it always feels magical somehow. I love the unique variety of nature, and the warmth in the winter is pretty swell, too. 

I enjoyed running a few times while I was there, and I stopped and grabbed a few pictures of the area.  The neighborhood we were in had so many birds and beautiful water surrounding everything. It was a little piece of paradise in the middle of the desert. 

 I love palm trees. They are awesome. We need palm trees in Idaho, I've decided.

 The flowers were out and it felt like a pleasant summer's day, at the end of November.

This was Henry on the run. He is a champ at staying in the stroller. I train them while they are young, and I have never had a problem keeping them in while running -- they just get used to it being reality.

 He is pondering the meaning of life after having his whole world turned upside-down.

 There were such interesting looking birds.

Is this not a beautiful neighborhood? I thought it was amazing. A very tempting prospect if I did not love Idaho so much.

 Some awesome desert plants...

William loved Toby the dog. He said, "I kind of feel like he is my dog." He would wake-up every morning, and help take him for a walk. He would just be looking out for him, or playing with him all the time. One day, maybe I will get him a dog of his very own... not while there is a toddler around the house though. There is enough poop to clean up already. But William sure does love Toby!

 A boy and his dog.

Henry was probably wondering what was next. Vacation must be so weird for a toddler, they have no idea if you are living in a new place for good, or not. He handled the whole trip remarkably well. I was pleasantly surprised at how good he was, and how much he seemed to enjoy everything.

 Swimming in November.

 Swimming at night is the best.

Uncle Johnny snuggling Ben and William. My kids need the snuggles from men that they love and admire.

 Daniel peeling Thanksgiving potatoes.

 Henry was catching all the peelings that missed the can.

 Just some food pictures... because who doesn't love food?

My nephew Jimmy, and sister-in-law, Amy. (Though we can just drop the whole "in-law" thing and call her sister.) I have known her since I was 9 years old! Amy and I had some fun discussion about life and things. She is always a joy to talk to.

Playing games. That is Mindy in the red (also a sister, drop the in-law part). And that is a baby in her tummy. Baby boy number 4. Out of my parents 16 grandchildren, only 4 of them are girls. We are breeding an army of future men, for some reason.

We got to FaceTime with my nieces, Katie and Kimmy, who are in Germany. It was so fun to see them. Katie even sang for us, which was a treat.

 Henry is saying hi to them.

 I am grabbing Henry before he breaks something.

 Phew, I got the little turkey.

 Speaking of turkey... here is my mom getting it ready.

 Amy and my mom discussing the insides of a turkey.

My brother Johnny. This is how he looked while we sat outside and had a deep doctrine conversation.  He is also the Gospel Doctrine teacher in his ward, so we talk about some fun things. I got to go to one of his lessons, he was a really good teacher. He did not wear swim trunks on his head when he taught.

 Yum.

 More yummy stuff.

 Food, food, bring on the food!

Sitting outside for Thanksgiving was a new experience. I must say, I enjoyed it, a lot. My brother Bob is in the right hand corner. It was his home we were visiting. I had a good chat with him one night until about 2am. For some reason all the conversation I had with people turned to the cosmos, and understanding our place in the universe. I just love having those kind of conversations, now more than ever.

 Sam and Dan enjoying the feast. That is sparkling cider, just so you know. We are Mormon. ;)

 A Panoramic view of the table...

We sat outside until it was dark and late. We had enthralling discussions about time, space, and eternity. Fascinating stuff, I tell you what. I love how you can discuss deep things with family safely -- things that you might not discuss in say, a Gospel Doctrine class. It is always so interesting to hear everyones different thoughts and perspective. I learned a lot from our conversations. It was thought-provoking, and uplifting. Charles was chuckling at us, I am sure of that. There we were throwing around ideas and concepts of understanding, and yet, he knows the answers now. I sure missed his input while gathered around the table. But he felt close.

 Grandpa and Jim.

 Johnny about to pick my dad's nose.

 Yum, yum, yum! I totally wish I would have eaten more of these rolls. They were amazing.

 Johnny taking a picture of me taking a picture of him.

 Sammi's hair is getting Rapunzel-long. It is so beautiful.

 Daniel "helping" Jim carry the mattress. Jim is 6.7 and growing.

 Here we are packing up. It was a fast and furious trip, but so worth it! We had so much fun.

I am so thankful for my family. They are mine forever. I love them.