Cling to Courage : March 2017

Match Your Mate

While digging through the garage, I found an old tape from my bridal shower called, "Match Your Mate." My sister did the interview, and Charles answers questions like: What first attracted you to Mari? When was your first kiss? How many girls did you kiss before Mari? I had to answer the same questions at my bridal shower. He got most of the answers right... except what movie we were watching when we first kissed (it was Jurassic Park), and how many boys I kissed before him (he was a little low on the number.) He, he. Hearing Charles' voice is like music to my ears. What a fantastic find!

You can listen to the tape below...

Mothers and Daughters: Written by Charles

I have been cleaning out our garage. As I have been going through boxes, I found an old church folder, with a talk Charles was putting together. I found it profound and timely for me. It was a reminder of what is really important, and all that we have sacrificed, to do what is best for our family. The talk was a draft, unfinished -- he did give it at the pulpit -- I just don't have the finished product. I still found his message very powerful for me at this time. I am always so grateful to find anything that Charles has written, especially when it touches my heart in such a lovely way. I am so grateful he has always defended my role as a mother, and he continues to do so... even now.

Here is his talk...

Today is the third Sunday in June, Father's day. This is a day that we set aside to honor fathers for all they do to enrich our lives. So, naturally, today in this Sacrament meeting, I am speaking to you about mothers and daughters.

President Gordon B. Hinckley had this to say to church leaders during the January 10, 2004 Worldwide Leadership Training meeting:

We call upon women of the church to stand together for righteousness. They must begin in their own homes. They can teach it in their classes. They can voice it in their communities. They must be teachers and guardians of their daughters.... When you save a girl, you save generations. She will grow in strength and righteousness. She will marry in The House of the Lord. She will teach her children the ways of truth. They will walk in her paths and will similarly teach their children.

I see this as the one bright shining hope in a world that is marching towards self-destruction...

We frequently speak of the strength of the priesthood, and properly so. But we must never lose sight of the strength of the women. It is mothers who set the tone in the home. It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. It is mothers who teach infants to pray, who read them choice and beautiful literature from the scriptures and other sources. It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount.

President Heber J. Grant went so far as to say, "without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers this Church would die."

It is important to note that President Hinckley's one bright and shining hope for this world lies in its women, not missionaries, priesthood, apostles, or temples. When you save a girl, you save generations.

Men and boys, this Father's day let us recognize that motherhood and womanhood are under attack. Every Sunday in Priesthood opening exercises the men and boys of the Liberty Ward recite the purposes of the Aaronic Priesthood, the last of which is to "give proper respect to women, girls, and children." Men today let us commit to protect our great hope in these Latter-days, the mothers and daughters of the church.

The world would have women believe that motherhood is a burden or an obstacle to her achieving more important pursuits and motherhood should be put off until it's convenient or never attempted at all. As Latter-Day Saints, we understand that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual pre-mortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." As Latter-Day Saint women, you understand that the blessing and duty of motherhood is the natural consequence of womanhood in the Kingdom of God. Of all the titles and honors to which women can aspire on this earth, Mother is the only title and honor that will rise with her in the eternities.

Sister Beck, in her talk, "Mother's who know," taught, "The value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection. Women who desire and work towards that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood."

My wife, Mari, and I have been married for ten years now. Our time together has been pleasant, but not without difficulties. Very early on in our marriage, we were presented with a very critical decision that has affected almost every aspect of our marriage.

Within our first year of marriage, we decided to bring children into the world. With this decision came the decision of whether or not Mari would continue working after the baby was born. For many new mothers, the decision to stay at work is a difficult one because it means separation from her newborn, added expenses and other complications. For Mari, the decision to continue working could have been an easy one to make.

Mari worked at one of the best childcare facilities in town and could have brought Sammi to work with her. She would have had a discount for childcare and could see Sammi frequently throughout the day. Still, Mari decided to stay at home with the baby. This meant the full burden of supporting the family was my sole responsibility, and it has been ever since. We have never regretted our choice.

Living on one income has caused us to make many sacrifices over the last ten years. We have suffered many deprivations because we decided to keep Mari in the home, where she could provide 24 hour a day care for our children.

Despite all we have been through, if I were asked to make the choice again, I would not change a thing. I have always considered it my primary responsibility to support Mari in her calling as a mother and to do everything in my power to give her as much time with the children as possible.

I believe our children will have the greatest chance for success, in all the ways that success can be measured, if they have as much time with their mother as possible. While I am certain that it is no guarantee for success, I rest well at night knowing that I am doing everything within my power to give my children the greatest opportunity I can provide them. I am grateful I decided to take a stand for motherhood.

Elder Ballard reminded us in April, "our society is bombarded with messages about womanhood and motherhood that are dangerously and wickedly wrong... Popular culture today often makes women look silly, inconsequential, mindless and powerless. It objectifies them and disrespects them and then suggests that they are able to leave their mark on mankind only by seduction -- easily the most pervasively dangerous message the adversary sends to women about themselves."

But this Father's Day, I want to turn the focus back to the men. Brethren, in our defense of womanhood and motherhood, do more to create an environment where women and girls won't feel the need to flaunt themselves because they know you value them for their virtue, modesty and other Christ-like attributes.

As fathers, it's important to show your daughters you love them and care for them. Your daughters will learn from you to appreciate and desire the wholesome affection that only you can provide them. If your young daughters feel you love them, they will be less likely to seek male affection outside the home, and fall into the worldly patterns of dress, speech and action to achieve it.

Fathers, show your daughters you love your wife and their mother. Your daughters will remember that you love your spouse and that you showed her often in heartfelt and appropriate ways. When they date, your daughters will seek attention from boys who emulate the pattern you set in the home. Your daughter's healthy social life with boys will begin with her observations of you with her mother. In time, your daughters will seek out a companion who can also demonstrate the ability to be kind and affectionate and create a loving companionship.

Show the women in your life you value womanhood and motherhood by tuning out media sources that don't agree with your high moral standards. If you don't watch it, or look at it, the women in your life will notice, even if they don't say it. They will appreciate you for taking a stand, even a silent one. Better yet, be vocal about your opinion and you will influence the women in your life for good.

Men, this Father's day, let us commit to our duty as guardians of faith, charity, and hope. And to those ends, let us commit to do everything in our power to protect our most familiar embodiment of those virtues, the women of the church, our wives, daughters, mothers and sisters.

Sunday

Last Sunday we got to hear an apostle speak. Elder Cook came and talked to our Stake. It was a really special experience, and very uplifting. After it was over, Daniel really wanted to go up and shake Elder Cook's hand. I wasn't sure about forcing our way through the crowd, but he insisted. What was I going to do, stop him from trying to meet an apostle of the Lord?

This is something that Charles would have done, for sure. One time we were in the same building as Elder Holland and Charles waited, and waited, until everyone cleared out, and he had a chance to shake his hand and chat with him for just a bit. Daniel was feeling the same way, he said, "Mom it's an apostle! I want to shake his hand!" And so he worked his way through the crowd to the front and made it to him. He was so happy. And it made me happy, that he was happy.

I was following close behind with Sammi, and so I thought I might as well squeeze in there, too. I had to force Sammi forward, since she is not one to force her way into anything. Our awesome Stake President was there, and he actually had Elder Cook turn around and make sure to shake our hands. Elder Cook asked us our names, and was very, very, sweet and friendly. It was nice to meet him, and he patted Henry on the head, too. I am glad we stepped out of our comfort zone, thanks to our bold Daniel who was determined, just like his daddy would have been.

Also, on Sunday, I got a LEGO trophy from William, for making an awesome dinner. He thought that pasta and Alfredo sauce was the best thing ever. I felt special for earning a reward for my cooking efforts. It is funny because if I try to cook something more fancy, or creative, the kids are not as impressed as when I make pasta and sauce.

Comfort food... it hits the spot every time.

Notice the pepper on the counter. Maybe it is just me, but I require so much more pepper on my food as I get older. Pretty soon I'll have more pepper than food on my plate. Also, I started thinking... we refer to people who are friendly, good-natured, and easy to get along with as, "the salt of the earth." My question is: Who is the pepper of the earth? Just wondering....

Also, notice the hairband on the counter. That was there because I took it out of my hair, so I would look less frumpy for the picture. You're welcome. ;)

We went for a Sunday night walk. It was raining most of the day, and then in the evening, the sun came out and it was beautiful. It was still very wet outside, but it was so worth it to get out there.

Spring is starting to really burst forth. This makes me SO HAPPY!

The night was so freshly perfect, with the smell of rain hanging in the air. There is something truly magical about sun right after rain.

I kept freaking out about the flowers.

I stopped to take a picture of flowers, and then I looked in front of me at my children. I felt such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for them. I just love them so much. They are everything to me.

I could not get enough of everything around us... the water, the sun, the flowers... oh my!

This is one of my favorite spots... it is postcard perfect.

The only downside of the walk was this... a muddy puppy. She was so gross by the end of it. I mean, nasty! Yes, she went straight into the bath when we got home.

The sunset was a beautiful way to end the day.

We ended at a park and the kids got to swing for a bit before we went home.

I love Sundays.

Fun Stuff

Life has been full of good times lately. It has been busy, but a good busy. I feel almost all better now, and have been getting out to walk and jog almost everyday. The weather sure makes it nice, it has been warm, with more sun than clouds, and the smell of fresh dirt is in the air. Dirt is one of my favorite smells. Dirt and a freshly mowed lawn... talk about Heaven. Oh, and flower trees smell heavenly too, but we are not quite to that stage of spring yet, but soon!

I have been taking more pictures of just everyday life stuff... the above picture is of Daniel crashing and burning after his benefit concert and party. He went from the high, to the low, of performance. It is exhilarating and then exhausting. It was all so fun though.

I took these pictures during a walk. The river has been flooding pretty bad this year with all the snow and rain we have had.

I think maybe this company might regret building right next to the river. If they would have called me, I could have told them not to build there! The flooding may be worse this year, but it has flooded in that area quite often, from what I have seen. Crazy!

Talk about waterfront property!

The flooding has caused water in places it does not normally go, and there was a new area to play in next to the bike trail.

When the sun came out, so did all the people. The trail was full of people enjoying the beauty of the day.

Yes, it is haircut time, he got one yesterday.

Flowers! There are coming!!!

Henry wanted to hold a flower.

We stopped at a park to play.

Sammi has still got it.

Hooray for warm and sunny days!

Do you know how happy flowers make me? I kind of freaked a little when I saw them.

Glorious sun! The kids all decided to wade in the water.

Zoie joined the party.

Oh man, we have been waiting for the spring to come. We van Ormers need to be outside!

Taking in the Vitamin D.

Zoie seems to like the water.

Happiness.

We went for a Sunday night drive and enjoyed the sunset.

We saw a bunch of deer.

Puppy cuddling. I think it might last a few more weeks, then she will be too big to carry.

A morning walk by the river.

The river is so crazy high!

Another morning at the park.

Swings!

I got together with my friend, Rachelle, and Zoie got to socialize with Sadie. A very good thing for puppies to do.

She is a really great dog, but it is not always a picnic with her. Puppies are not for the faint of heart, that is all I have to say. I will write more about it later. Good thing she is cute.

I have been taking her for walks and trying to wear her out, so she gets the exercise she needs to be happy and healthy (and so she will sleep through the night).

We have had so much going on, that I have been slacking on making dinners. We have had straight-from-the-store kind of dinners lately.

Hooray for deli food!

I got a gate for the kitchen... it has been fantastic. Having her underfoot was just too dangerous.

More river flooding... Henry told me not to go down that path.

Green grass!!!!!!

Green on the trees!!!!

Zoie is learning how to stay with me when walking. She is doing really well.

Henry just being cute.

I wonder what she is thinking?

I have decided to take daily gratitude walks. When I take Zoie out, I purposefully think about things I am grateful for. Gratitude is like a secret weapon to combat fear and anxiety about the future. It may seem a simple thing, but it is by small and simple things, that great things are brought to pass. The first morning I did this, I was greeted by two rainbows! It was amazing! I will write more about the power of gratitude later. But, wow, it is really life-changinig when gratitude is focused on.

Another morning walk... It was grey, but the sun was fighting against the darkness.

Do you know how hard it is to resist this face? Sometimes her eyes will twinkle, like she is saying "pretty please, can I have a treat?"

I will have to watch these two together for quite a long time... they just feed off of each others energy.

Guess how long the hat lasted?

Henry wanted to get on the stage before the benefit concert. Sammi loves that stage too.

I was working the cameras.

Daniel's junior high benefit concert was really fun.

It was a Broadway musical show. Daniel was Marius from Les Mis. I will post video and photos later.

After the concert fun

Yep.

It makes me happy to see Sammi and Daniel as such good friends.

Mr. Scott, the junior high choir teacher, is the BEST! We sure love him at our house.

Henry was so happy to be running the halls, and then he had enough.

Hugs.

We had a post-performance party at our house.

It was fun to feel the energy from all the kids. It is enlivening to be around the youth.

Daniel is a "gatherer." He likes to be with loads of friends, and he likes to gather people to him. I realize as his mom, I need to find ways to accommodate this more. Sometimes I just don't think about that need, since it is not one that I have. But he is not me, and he just loves being with his friends. I love my friends too, I just prefer them in smaller groups, not the masses: Dan loves the masses. I actually love to do parties, so it is one way I can help him do his thing. And when it comes down to it, guess where I want my kids and their friends? Yep, at my house. It is a safe place for people to gather, and I am all for that!

Ice-cream cookie sandwiches... so yummy! Albertsons makes the best cookies. (I did not have time to bake my own.) Tillamook ice-cream was on major sale, so it was perfect!