Dear Evan Hanson

Charles joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, when he was 17 years old. When he turned 19, he decided to go on a mission, and serve the Lord for 2 years of his life. It was on his mission in Toronto, Canada, that he met a very special person.

This person helped change his life.

His name was Elder Evan Hanson.

Before Charles joined the Church, his life was one of great struggle. He described it to me as a scary and dark time for him. He had a difficult childhood, and his family and home life were very, very, strained and strenuous.

His parents were divorced when he was young, and his family life included him traveling back and forth between two different states (Alaska and Arizona), to split time between his mom and dad, as an only child. His childhood and teenage years were rough, to say the least. He spoke to me of his childhood and family life often. He wished that he could have had a more solid foundation of love and close family relationships.

Charles longed for love and acceptance, as we all do.

He spent his life searching for it, aching for it.

When Charles left on his mission, he was still so new to learning the gospel, and figuring out the structure of the Church, as a new convert. His testimony and love for the Lord was so powerful, and so personal; but he always struggled with structure and rules. His strained home life caused him to run more freely through (and from) life, without caring for some of the rules and restraints that having a stable home often provides.

He was a wild and free spirit.

When Charles came to find his Savior, he was literally saved from a life of Hell. He was brought into the light and love of our Heavenly Father. That love caused him to turned his life around, completely. He stepped out of the darkness, and he became a new creature of light. His conversion story was miraculous, and Charles' testimony of God's love became unshakable.

Charles had to quit doing a lot of the worldly things he had been involved in, so he could be baptized; including overcoming addictions. He did overcome, he did change, and he said often that the Lord changed his heart so completely, his desire for those addictive things melted away. He was tempted from time to time, but the Lord helped him through the struggle.

By the time Charles was serving as a missionary, he often felt so out of place, and unsure of himself. He was surrounded by other missionaries who seemed to know what they were doing. He was surrounded by many "good boys" who were raised well. His background was so rough, he did not feel like he fit in.

Some of his companions were helpful to his growth, and some were a great struggle for him. It seemed like there were some on his mission, who might not have taken him very seriously, because he was such a new convert. His learning curb was steep as he went from newly joining the Church, to jumping out on a mission. But his testimony was one of fire, and depth, and he clung to the Lord despite his insecurities. Charles worked many jobs before he left, to raise all of the money for his mission. He just wanted to serve the Lord, however he could.

When Charles died, I inherited his journals. Having his journals is a blessing, but it can also be very hard to read through some of his experiences. As I have been reading through his missionary journals lately, my heart has ached for him, and what he went through as a new convert missionary. I just want to reach through the pages and tell him that it is going to be okay, and that life will all turn out more beautifully than he could possibly imagine. He did die young (age 37), but he died well loved and adored by his family and friends.

He found the family and love he longed for.

As I look through his missionary journals -- observing the pain and difficulties he faced -- I have been reminded of how much he loved his companion and friend, Elder Hanson.

It was a struggle to read through some of his journal and his challenges, because Charles was very negative and hard on himself. And then there is an entry that says, "My companion Elder Hanson has committed me to not write anything negative, so I'll try not to." From that point forward, his journal gets a lot better, and more uplifting, rather than depressing. His struggles did not end, but he seemed to try to write a little more positively about life. Which helped a lot, at least for me as the reader.

Charles spoke of Elder Evan Hanson often. He talked about how kind, friendly, and loving he was to him. He did not feel judged by him. He was accepted by him, even though Charles was an awkward new convert, in the world full of lifetime-prepared missionaries. Those two had many adventures together, and Evan was just an all-around great example of Christlike love to Charles. Charles needed that example, he needed Evan in his life, at that time. I firmly believe Evan changed his life, simply by being a light, and sharing his friendship and example, without limitations.

Charles loved Evan Hanson so much that we named our oldest son, Daniel Evan van Ormer.

Evan Hanson named his oldest son, Charles.

As I have been looking back over some of Charles' life experiences, I find myself so grateful for the people who have been an influence for good. Some people came into his life at pivotal moments, that changed his life forever.

I am so grateful for anyone who ever loved Charles. It meant so much to him to have that love, and it means so much to me that he was loved.

Evan Hanson is one of those wonderful people who changed Charles' life through love.

Dear Evan Hanson,

Thank you for loving Charles.

Your love changed the course of his future.

The van Ormer family will be forever grateful.