When Dreams and Nightmares Collide

Fear and hope were fluttering in our hearts as we glanced back at our home in Idaho, and said goodbye to the past. We were just starting our journey towards our new home in Spokane, Washington, and we had no idea what to expect. 

Our life change of moving states was not planned. It was totally unexpected. We went on a little romantic get-away trip to Spokane, we went past a beautiful old home on a morning walk, and the dramatic 108 year old house basically started crying and she begged us to buy her. (The house can be a little moody and demanding sometimes; but I suppose she should be allowed some drama with her old age.) 

It seemed as though a bit of "divine destiny" became the wind that pushed us towards our new home, and our new adventure together. If we tried to push back at the winds of change, it wouldn't budge, and it would nudge us in the direction it wanted us to go. Wind is pushy like that. And so, we began to walk the path that seemed carved out for us, like a pumpkin on October 31st. Wait, what? I don't even know what that means? But I do know I have pumpkins on my brain. I wait in anticipation as they will soon make their appearance in a store near me. And I will be there... when they arrive, in their Autumn glory. And I will scoop up all of their deliciously orange cuteness.

Ummm... okay, let's get on point. Seriously though... pumpkins. 

Yes, yes, YES!!!

Moving on...It was just one year ago today, that we got in a Penske truck, and slowly meandered our way here, as all of our personal belongings swayed around in the back. The kids drove much faster towards our destination, in the zippy van. But we were limited in speed by the weight of our possessions, and the moderate power of a Penske. It was slow and steady, to win the race.

What we did not know at the time -- as we were full of hopes and excitement -- was the absolute insanity that was awaiting us in the near future. 

Living in Spokane has been a dream of mine for many years; but it is interesting to note how dreams and nightmares often dwell in the same space. 

This last year has proven to be one of the most challenging and interesting years we have ever experienced. And both David and I have been through some serious challenges! The move definitely made things more interesting, and even more difficult in many ways. But this hard year has also been really, really, good.

Let's just make a little list of some of the things that have happened this year, shall we? 

Keep in mind that some of the most awful things that have happen, I cannot even write about, due to the nature and sensitivity of others involved. 

Here we go...

- We prepared and sold our old home in Boise in record time

- We bought our new old home in Spokane in record time

- We packed up and moved everything unexpectedly in record time

- Henry split his arm open our first night in Spokane, and we had to go to ER so we could be welcomed to our new home by the hospital staff

- A few weeks after moving into our old house a huge ponderosa pine tree fell through and damaged our home, and my van, causing major damage

- We learned about the necessity of home insurance, and we are grateful we have it

- We quickly learned this old house was going to take a whole lot of love and work, and love, and work... and love... and...

- We had to unexpectedly remodel the basement soon after moving in, because it was gross and stinky and full of mice poop under the floor

- All four of the kids had to do online school due to Covid

- I was pregnant and hormonal... REALLY hormonal, maybe because I am so old? I dunno?

- The kids barely left home due to Covid and my pregnancy, and we were all smashed at home together all the time

- The kids left their friends behind, and didn't really even have a chance to make new friends, due to Covid

- We couldn't go to "in person" Church, and for us, and our blended family dynamics, home church was hard

- David could not travel for many months back to Idaho to see his kids, due to Covid

- David and I struggled through the pressure of everything, we almost lost our minds completely, and, sometimes, we did lose our minds completely

- We had the news come to our home twice, once for the tree falling on it, and another time for our crazy Halloween display

- We got a puppy in Idaho before we left and before we knew we were moving, but we had to return her, because life was too chaotic, especially with pregnancy and the home remodel

- While fixing the home from the tree damage, we decided to renovate almost our entire house, because if this, then that... and that, and that... and...

- We moved out of our home for a few months and lived in a rental home

- We moved back in and are still living in the basement during the renovation upstairs

- We have been in the state of remodeling our home almost the entire time we have lived here. From planning to preparation and now we have "the people" in our home at least 5 days a week. Plumbers, electricians, stucco repair, construction... the list goes on and on. Privacy is non-existent.

- Sammi and Daniel both moved out to go to college, and I am learning how to have adult children

- There have been many sleepless nights with the newborn baby, and many sleepless nights worrying about my adult babies

- David can finally travel and see his kids in Idaho again

- Trying to balance between us the different physical/emotional/spiritual needs of 10 children... if there is a manual for this, someone send it to me 

- Figuring out our own emotional needs and finding time for "self-care" during home renovation time 

- Doing all the things with a baby in tow, and recovering my body from having a baby

- Covid, and more "due to Covid" to continue... to make life more challenging in the days to come

Anyway, you get the picture. 

And the stuff I cannot write, is the stuff that is really the hardest stuff. 

I could go on in list form, but it is time to move on. With all the crazy that has happened, living in Spokane has also been beautiful and very educational. It has been really good for me and David, especially, as we have had to learn and grow here together in a new place, away from the extremities of death and divorce reminders, all the time. We needed this change. We needed to become new together, away from everything that defined us, as we used to be. 

And going through some of the really, really, hard times, has also allowed us to work through hard stuff together, and we have been able to figure each other out more and more. As I learn to understand David better, I also learn to appreciate him more, as he is. I am grateful we have had the strength to endure some tough stuff, so we can also enjoy the really good stuff together. 

I love it here in Spokane, I love our home -- even though there is only half of it right now. And even though our house is moody, and cranky sometimes, she is still beautiful and warm, and ours. 

Being able to go back to church has been wonderful too, and that has helped a lot so we can feel connected to this place. There is something special about having the church community that just makes all the difference in life. I have always had the Church in my life, and I always want it in my life. We need those connections with others, even people like me -- a woman devoted to being an introvert -- I still have a need for connection with my fellow travelers in life.

One year. 

I cannot believe it. 

So much has happened, but it has also gone by so fast...

Let's just take a little look back at the last year, in pictures... in very random order, because I don't have time to organize them. But that is kind of how memories work though, right? Random, and out of order... at least mine work that way. Maybe your memories are in order?

Here are some memories from this last insane and incredible year in Spokane!