Falling Leaves

Fall is quickly fading. It has turned cold, and it is time to pull out the jackets and extra blankets for our beds. I do not mind the changing of the seasons, but this year, I have just really enjoyed Autumn and all its glory. I do not want it to end!

I love the color on the trees and the temperatures in the 60s. As winter approaches, I feel myself a bit apprehensive. Last year we had a ridiculous winter, with a crazy amount of school cancellation days. Cabin fever set in pretty deep -- and I am from Alaska! The word on the street is we should expect another heavy snow winter this year, but no one really knows for sure. Normally, our winters are mild, with very little snow. I guess only time will tell. I hope Autumn holds on for dear life, as long as it can. As for me, I added another blanket to my bed yesterday. It is time to get nice and cozy!

It looks like blogging is a once a week thing. I want to keep up on things, but I have just not had much desire to write. Not for any negative reason, I actually feel pretty great. I thought I might take the time to write when Henry is at school for a few hours, but instead I find I really enjoy that time to get things done, or just have a moment of total peace. Now that I am in bed around 10:00 at night, there is not a lot of time for me to unwind and relax, or enjoy a movie during the week. Sometimes, I take the time while Henry is at school to watch a Hallmark show in total relaxation mode. Like, total peace, nothing but being still.

It is pretty fabulous.

I was told in a blessing that I need to take time to relax -- fully relax. So much of the time I think I forget to do that, and it is possible to break down from spinning in circles too much, even if the spinning is just going in mental and emotional circles. As a widow, I do not have a companion who helps look after home and family, and I don't have a companion to help take care of me from time-to-time. I don't necessarily need to be taken care of, but I do need breaks from time to time to regain energy and strength -- physically, mentally, emotionally -- so I can continue on in my duties of taking care of my family.

I have found it is really important for me to take the time to take care of myself. I also find that my "peace time" has been super helpful in my healing and happiness. And I mean SUPER helpful. I enjoy that quiet time during the day so much, somedays I just want to scream out in joy at the complete and utter silence and peace of those few hours! It has been 16 years since I have had such peace and quiet, and it is glorious. So, very, glorious! I highly recommend taking and making "peace time." Time where you can just sit and ponder and just "be." And make sure there is NO guilt attached to it -- just joy! Oh the joy! Hooray!

Onto the pictures...

Pumpkin time is in full swing. I love seeing pumpkins all over town.

I have been running often, but much less in milage and it is awesome. I have loved my new routine of moderation. I always take time to stop along my run to see the beauty around me.

One of the best things about running in Autumn is crunching the leaves beneath my shoes. Crunch, crunch, crunch! I love it!

 Yes, I laid down in the middle of the path for this picture.

Our beautiful tree lost all its leaves in one shot! There was a frost, and then I woke up one morning and the tree was snowing leaves. It was so other-worldly! The leaves fell making a loud noise like hail hitting the ground. They just kept falling, and falling, without stopping. It was something you'd have to see to believe. I was excited and sad at the same time. It was beautiful to behold such a sight, but the beautiful sight was destroying my beautiful tree! I was hoping it would hang on a little longer to its glory; but all the glory is now a pile on the ground. I suppose the glory has just been transferred to another form, as the leaves on the ground are pretty glorious to my children.

 It did provide some good leaf jumping time.

There was an air show that we could see from our home. It was amazing to watch the jets do their thing! I screamed like a kid on Christmas morning. I get really excited about things that occur in the sky. They were here for 2 days of performance, but we had an additional 2 days for them to practice. They flew right over the kids school, it was so fantastic!

 Loved it!

 It just amazed me.

 Leaf jumping!

 These boys. I love them.

 Henry made a new game. I was going to use those cups.

 This is good stuff.

 We made the cups fun for Halloween.

This picture... For those of you who knew Charles, this is how he would sit on the floor. Charles would lay on the ground, exactly like this, and then he would just listen with full attention to what others were saying. It was one of those noticeable things that Charles did. When Henry got in this position the other night, we all noticed and thought it was crazy. Henry did it on his own, and Henry was too young to know this was his dad's trademark position. Maybe one day Henry will be a good listener like his Father. I can hope!

 A sweet friend brought me a box of apples! Yummy! Thanks, Amy!

 Sammi was so excited to get her new choir dresses. She has two dresses this year. One for the women's audition choir and another for Encore, the audition combined choir. This is the women's choir dress.

 I have started looking for daily rainbows. I have found them in funny ways!

 An example of breakfast. I love eating a healthy hearty breakfast to start my day.

 At the church parking lot doing my lunges. My goal is to cross the entire lot without stopping. Henry stands at the other end and holds his hand out for me to touch and give a high-five!

Sammi had her first choir concert. It was really beautiful. It was all about Sleep. She also got to play the piano for a song during the concert, so that was fun. I love it when she plays for the choirs. She is self taught so it always blows my mind when I see her up there. She never took lessons, or had performance recitals, or any of it. She just loved it, so she taught herself, and practiced, and now plays! I am so grateful because we need a pianist in our home to bring the spirit of music and gathering around the piano. It is a great blessing in our lives that she can play.

 Sammi after the concert running around hugging everyone. (The blue dress is her Encore dress.)

 The post-perfomance high is soaked in and loved.

 Sammi has been waiting for this moment of being in Encore since she joined choir in junior high. She is living her dream. And she is happy about it.

Daniel loved the concert too. He gets to be a part of the high school choir world next year and he is super excited. He also played the piano at a choir concert this week, but I only took video and forgot to take a picture! He is also teaching himself how to play the piano and he is doing really great. I was trying to contain my giddiness when he played for the junior high boys choir. When he first brought home the music and told me he was supposed to play it at a concert, I was like, "Ummm... but you don't play the piano?" And he was like, "Oh really? Watch me!"

He worked hard daily, and taught himself two different pieces of music to play for the concerts. Needless to say, I was amazed. (I cannot read music or play the piano, other than basic chords, so it is really amazing to me!)

These kids, they just love music, it has been a beautiful way for them to embrace their emotions and it has been a huge help in their healing. We have had many conversations about how music has been the way they work through their feelings. I am so grateful they have such a positive and healthy outlet. And I am also grateful for a teacher who has faith in students to stretch themselves to learn new things, and then he allows them to play at concerts! How cool is that? Our lives are filled with music right now, and it is fabulous. The holidays will be decorated with music.

Henry was a little restless at the concert. Or maybe a lot restless. Sometimes his energy makes me lose mine. But one day, I am sure his energy will be put to good use. I try not to stifle the thing that makes each child unique. For example, Daniel is loud. He has always been loud since he emerged from the womb. I used to tell him as a child (and repeat to myself in my head as a comfort) that one day, his loudness would be a blessing, I was just sure of it. Now, when Daniel is performing on stage, I can see that unique loudness is a gift, a true blessing, and part of his innate self and identity. The same will be true of Henry and his energy. His energy is a blessing and a gift of his. I know it. I am excited to see how he chooses to use it in the future!

Tyson came to support Sammi at her concert. She wanted to make sure and get a picture with him. (They are currently replacing their floors.) It was so nice of him to come amidst all of their house construction and take a few hours to be there for Sammi. Some men are good, and some are great, and Tyson is one of the greats. Charles and Tyson were close friends. The Harlin family are our friends and neighbors (2 doors down) and He is also one of our Home Teachers. His wife, Rachelle, is my close friend and Visiting Teaching companion. Anyway, our families go way back. They are the kind of friends that are family. If we ever need a Priesthood blessing -- or help with anything -- all we have to do is ask. My point is: we are not alone. Not really. And for some reason, as I looked at this picture, I realized that in a different way. God does not let us face the world alone. And that is a beautiful thing!

Sammi has to have her hair up and out of the way for her performances. Her friend, Katie, did her hair so beautifully! I am so grateful Sammi has such talented friends, who can do so many things, like hair. I am clueless when it comes to anything other than hair down styles.

I take Henry with me out running. I have been running with a stroller for 16 years now. I thought I might run without it during his time at school, but I have found I prefer a morning exercise routine to prepare me for the day. Running is not something I do just to get it out of the way and move on. For me, it is an experience every time. Running is part of my day, to connect with God and nature, and my body and spirit.

I am really enjoying these shorter runs lately. I was so burnt out after marathon training. But these short and sweet runs are just what I need to learn to love it again. It is strange, because if I think about going farther, I start to feel anxious, like my body is telling me, "No!" Normally, I would feel free to run as far and long as I could possibly go, without limitations, or concerns. But now, I feel strongly about keeping things closer to home, keeping it simple, and keeping it sweet. It is like my life activities are being forced into a state of moderation, and I am not going to fight against it, and push too hard, like I normally would.

God wants me to learn moderation. That much is clear. I'm trying not to fight against His will in my normal stubborn way. I am much more submissive to His will lately, after His grace of pulling me through such a trying time of the last year. Do you know how much I love my Heavenly Father? There are no words. Just feelings. And my heart literally will burst if I try to describe my feelings. He knows how I feel about Him.

 Sometimes we run into strange things along our running path.

 Nighttime leaf jumping.

 My poor tree! It makes me feel cold when I look at it!

 The colors! I am just soaking them all in as much as I can!

I often look up at the sky and watch the clouds. Beautiful things can be seen when I take the time to look up. 

 I love our church buildings. I love being a Mormon.

Sammi is off in McCall on a choir trip. She was so excited! I can't wait to hear about it when she gets back. All these trips are helping me to begin thinking about her leaving after high school. I don't want to think about it too much, but it is coming, and quickly, so moments she can spend away from home are always helpful to prepare for the big change that is upon us in the near future. It is funny how often in life emotions collide with changes.

Of course I want Sammi to go off and live life, have fun, be happy, and grow up, and all those good things; but in the same breath, I also want her to never leave or grow up, I want her here, at home with the family! Clearly life and family dynamics are always changing, and so I must learn to handle the collision of emotions. Our family is familiar with change, we learn to deal with it, and move forward with faith; always trusting that a way will be provided, and paths will be made clear in God's timing.

 I miss her every time she goes, but I am also so excited for her! This motherhood thing is so not easy on the heart!

 Fall foliage at its finest.

 We have snow in the foothills. Brrrrrr!

 Pictures from my runs.

 I'm so blessed.

 This house had huge pumpkins!

 When Sammi is away, it is just me and the boys. And what a group of boys they are!

This is William enjoying the peace and quiet outside. Sometimes burying your head in a pile of leaves is the right thing to do, I guess?

We were able to feed the Sister missionaries. They are those angel girls that I posted about HERE. We had a lovely time, and they also taught a sweet lesson to our family, and encouraged us to really study The Book of Mormon. We all had to go around the room and answer the question of why we loved The Book of Mormon. That is a fabulous question to ask, and I recommend it for any lesson. Hooray for the missionaries! Hooray for The Book of Mormon!

I am working on my sparkle! It will take some time, but I do believe I might sparkle again one day. It has to do with my eyes. I want them to shine again. I have had it before, and I know it is possible. Happiness, I believe, really does shine through in the eyes: the window to the soul. You know who has sparkly eyes? My mom. Do you know why her eyes sparkle? Because she is full of love. Sparkling has everything to do with love. So, I guess I hope to one day be so full of love that my eyes radiate love-sparkle. (Love-sparkle is like magic fairy dust, sprinkled in the eyes.) Some of my sparkle faded when Charles died. He really helped to put that twinkle in my eyes for many reasons; one reason being that he taught me how to love more completely. But I still believe I will find my sparkle again, perhaps in new ways, yet to be seen. (I'm not just talking romantic love, just to be clear.) Wish me luck on my sparkle quest!

Look what I found! Oh yeah! We are talking 100% baby! Not for the faint of heart, or sensitive tastebuds. But going without sugar has kind of changed my taste for sweet things. I only eat a little bit of this daily.

May these Fall days hang on a little longer! However, you know what happens after Halloween around here, right?

That's right! Bring on the Christmas music! (As if I haven't been playing it for this whole last month!)

Yep, I am that girl who blends the holidays to make them all last longer -- because I love the holidays so much!

And you know what?

I take happiness in it.

Life is sweet, my friends.

Savor it fully.