Would I Press the "Flirt Button" for Charles?

I signed-up for online dating. Eek! This may sound exciting, but so far, for me, it is not! The world of online dating is not a magical land of available, manly, attractive, dreamboats. Maybe it sounds romantic to have a second chance at finding love, but I assure you the process is far more brutal than beautiful, at least as far as the online dating services go.

LDSPlanet is far from a pairing-off paradise. It seems to me more like a land of dating desolation. Sure, I have only been on there for 3 days. (I am not a very patient person.) But it just feels so against my nature to pursue someone in such an impersonal kind of way. I am attracted to an approachable personality, not a puffed-up profile picture. Therefore, online dating is going against all of my natural inclinations of seeking out what is attractive to me. A stale picture of a smug-looking man, does nothing for my eyes, or my heart.

As I have scrolled through some of the profiles, I look at these guys, and I wonder... would I have been able to pick Charles out of the crowd? I wonder if I saw just his picture, and a few profile words, would I click the "flirt" button? Would I send him a personal message to start a conversation? Or would I just pass him by, because it would just be another impersonal picture, without his sparkling personality shining through?

I don't know? 

I really don't know if I would be able to pick him out of a crowd of pictures, without knowing his charm and charisma in person.

But then again, as I scrolled through some of his pictures on my blog, I realized how attractive Charles is to me, even in just a picture. Maybe it is because I see more than just a picture. I see all the years, all the love, and I know what was happening in the moment the picture was taken.

But I also see... him.

And he was (is) a beautiful, beautiful, man.

And you know, I do think that, YES! I would definitely flirt with him! Even if all I saw was a picture!

Maybe there is still hope for this strange online dating world... ??

So, here is a little glimpse into LDSPlanet... I blurred the pictures for privacy. So far, all I have done is delete every single guy, and I have not found anyone I want to reach out to either. Yeah, fun times. I have heard that some fellow widows and widowers have had success in the online dating world, so I am not giving up quite yet, but I have serious doubts that I will be able to find someone in such a way.

I am putting myself out there however I can. If God wants to put someone special in my path, I certainly hope my eyes (and heart) will be open to the opportunity. I am also just putting myself out there, and I am hoping God will see and bless my efforts, maybe in ways I cannot even imagine or understand at this time. I know (I was told in a blessing) that I am not meant to be alone in this life.

And so, I feel I have to do my part to search.

I never planned on being a single, widowed, mother of 4 at such a young age, but here I am. And so, here I am, trying to date while raising my family. I know that nothing is impossible with God. I am glad I know that, or else this would all feel quite impossible.

Wish me luck!

As I scrolled through my blog to find pictures of Charles, I realized again, just how much I love him, and how good-looking he is to me.

And you know what is really attractive?

I love to see pictures of Charles in action as a dad.

If more guys had pictures of themselves doing quality things with their children, then that would make the online search a lot more pleasant for me. Being a good dad is a really attractive thing about a man. It is so much more attractive than, say, a smug mugshot taken in the mirror.

Ick.

So, for my viewing pleasure, I thought I would show some glorious pictures of my Charles. And I also want to assure you that I will always love him. And I mean always! But, I also know that my heart is capable of loving him, and someone else at the same time.

Don't ask me how it is possible. I just know that it is possible.

And my heart is now open to such a possibility!

Isn't fatherhood so attractive...?  ;)