A Whole Lot of Living and Finding a Wedding Location

Life has been moving at an interesting pace. There have been some very big life-changing events, and some very small and simple special moments. I want to capture all of it, and I feel the need to be more diligent in my efforts. My children love to be able to look back over our lives, and see their memories and special moments. Life is a wonderful journey, and I value the fact that I have a space to capture the wonder!

This post is simply meant to capture some of those wonder-filled moments.

Here we go... the pictures are not in order or anything, I am just going to throw it all out very randomly...

Here we have Sammi and Daniel ready for Prom. Daniel was able to go as a Sophomore because his 16th birthday was two days before Prom, and he was asked by a Senior girl.

Sammi and Daniel went on a choir trip to Disneyland. How amazing is that? They were so excited and they had a wonderful time! Their school walked away with superior ratings in band, choir, and orchestra.

Here is Sammi with her choir teacher Mr. Kane. He is phenomenal. He does tremendous things with the choirs. My kids are super lucky to have him as their choir director!

 A cute picture of Sammi in California.

Daniel is showing off his beach body. He has been working out and taking care of himself lately, and he is feeling and looking very handsome.

They had a parent night for Encore. They performed a bunch of music from past concerts. It was a fun and entertaining night, and the students especially enjoyed the fun.

Daniel being Daniel.

Sammi and Daniel at Disneyland.

Dole Whip. Need I say more? Yum!

Beach time in California.

Sammi and Katie. They have known each other since First grade!

My beautiful girl.

Henry's birthday cake. We had all three of the boy's birthdays... Henry on April 24th, Daniel on April 25th, and William on April 26th. Yes, it is crazy!

This right here is one of those life-changing events. One night, David introduced me to the most wondrous creation... Cookie Butter. He served it to me on Cheesecake factory bread, and I became hooked. Well, at first I thought it was good, but then later that night, I started to crave it like crazy. The next time I tried it I LOVED it! I highly recommend this delectable treat. Make sure when you purchase it, get the CRUNCHY kind. You can find it in the peanut butter section at Albertsons. Choose a super yummy bread to put it on, and enjoy your new addiction. :)

You are welcome.


This picture is from a random Sunday night walk back when it was cold outside.

William had a band concert and grandma was super proud of him. I was too! William rocked it! He plays the trombone, and he did an awesome job. William is growing like crazy right now, he is almost as tall as me, and he is only 12!

We had a bunch of cousins and family come to see Sammi in Cinderella. It was so fun to be surrounded by family.

I loved having my sister around to enjoy the event. You can barely tell we are sisters, right? ;)

Our house was full of love and family.

Two cute angels. Joy and Sammi.

Precious girls.

Throwing rocks by the river.

More precious girls. McKinley and Joy.

I love these girls!

We went to see Wicked just a few days after Cinderella was over. It was AMAZING. We were totally blown away by the talent and magic.

Sammi and I saw it only two weeks after Charles died 5 years ago. That was hard. This time I enjoyed it much more. Daniel was SO impressed by all of it. He loves musical theater and it rocked his world.

This table was made by David. It is so beautiful. I love having it in our home. He is a man of many talents!

Daniel and Sammi... these two are so funny together. They really are so different and yet they are the best of buddies. They always have been, I hope they always will be.

William can now throw a rock all the way across the river. That is a big deal.

I love my sweet Sammi.

Daniel giving Henry a thrill ride.

I took Sammi to the Cheesecake factory on a date. It is fun spending time with just Sammi. She is so pleasant to be with. We ordered way too much food. It was so yummy, and it was a precious time with her.

I love the nighttime ambiance of the restaurant. I love how it is so darkly lit.

The Nachos there... SO good.

Here is where David asked me to marry him. We went back to the bench we sat on during our very first date. That first date was so awkward for me, and yet, I felt strangely comfortable with him, despite my inability to relax. We talked for hours and hours on the bench that first night, as the sun went down. He was friendly, and I was a bit emotionally-cold, but he was patient with my widow-dating-again-weirdness. I am sure I will write more about some of the weirdness later.

Here is Daniel getting ready to leave home for Disneyland.

They rode on buses the whole way there and back.

Springtime is such a glorious thing!

Henry loves jumping on the trampoline!

I love to go down by the river and enjoy the beauty of nature.

Tulips!

We have a beautiful tree in our front yard with pink blossoms, but the pink flowers only last for a short time. The wind seems to blow them away really fast. But it is lovely while it lasts.

My parents came and stayed with my children during our honeymoon. Here is grandma teaching Henry how to make peanut butter cup easter eggs. They were dangerous. Henry loved the grandma attention.

We were trying to find a location where we could get married. It was not an easy task! We went all over the place, looking for somewhere in nature that would be a beautiful and appropriate location.

As we were up in the foothills, on a beautiful Sunday night, I had some time by myself. David ran up ahead to scout out some other possible places farther up the dirt trail. We thought maybe the foothills would be a symbolic substitute for going up a mountain, since we could not be married in the temple. It was the Sunday night before we were to get married, and we still did not know where we would perform the ceremony!

While alone in the hills, I prayed asking for guidance about our marriage location. It had been a real struggle for me to accept a location other than the temple. The answer to my prayer that night was quick, and straightforward. My answer was, "It does not matter where you get married at this point, you just need to get married."

I had really been struggling with the fact that we could not be married in the temple (because of current handbook policies for widows/divorcees), and it was causing me to drag my feet a bit. My greatest desire was to be married to David in the temple -- even if only for time -- since we cannot currently be sealed. I just could not imagine settling for something less than marriage in the temple, especially since it is a place I attend often, and I love it so much.

Of course, I also wanted the temple to be the standard I set for my children. For example, on the way out the door to our wedding, Henry heard we were getting married at a park, and he said, "Why are you getting married at a park? I thought you are supposed to get married at the temple." I just let that one go, without trying to explain the details to his little mind... especially since I didn't have an answer myself. Hard stuff, I tell you what.

I wrestled with God over this for many, many, months. I cried, and cried, and pled with the Lord, hoping for some guidance and understanding, or at least some peace. We talked with many people in our search for answers. David was super supportive, and he was open and willing to marry me anywhere, thank goodness. He is of the opinion that it will all work out, and he is right, of course. But sometimes the in-between space that exists somewhere in the middle of "it will all" and "work out" can be difficult.

I never did receive the answers I was seeking for, and I never gained a solid understanding. In fact, I still do not have peace regarding the fact that we could not be married in the temple. It causes my heart to flop back and forth from time-to-time, with a bit of pain. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, but we both agree it felt incomplete, and secondary, in comparison to the power of the temple sealing. We still made marriage covenants before God, but the wording was something like, "while you walk this mortal life/until death do you part," and it felt like a dam blocking forever.

We are still holding on to hope, that one day, it might be possible to be sealed to each other. No, I will never cancel my sealing to Charles; but I would happily be sealed to both Charles and David, and then work out the details with God later.

Despite my lack of answers and peace on the important subject, what I ultimately decided to do, was take a leap of faith and get married.

I know that God knows all things, and that He can work miracles, as we take the leap of faith, into His loving arms.

I have faith in God and His timing in my life.

Am I disappointed that my prayers have not been answered, the way that I would like? Yes. Will it stop me from walking by faith, and continuing on with hope? No. I believe that God will reveal His will and wisdom to me in His own time. I just have to be patient.

I am not very good at patient.

But I will try and leave the eternal details to God.

He knows better than I do.

In the meantime, all we can do is live worthy and strive to love each other in a way that will last forever.

We have to choose each other everyday... forever. 

There is beauty in that kind of love.

(This was the sunset that night.)

I sure love this guy. He has brought light back into my life. Yes, we have hard times, and weird newly-married, figuring-things-out kind of discussions; but being married again feels like I am myself again, and I am just grateful. I can't explain it, but I like it!

I love David!

Here I am, just moments before getting married. It felt so strangely weird, and normal, at the same time. David got ready downstairs, and then we drove to our wedding together. Nothing about our wedding was traditional. It was just meant to be simple and sweet. We will be having a big reception where everyone can come and celebrate with us!

Sammi was the only one who came to the wedding, other than our parents, and the bishop. The reason was simply because she wanted to come, and the relationship I have with Sammi is not something I can explain to other people. She has been my dearest daughter, friend, and companion, and it just felt right that she should be there. David was all for it. She also represented the angels -- on both sides of the veil -- who were witnessing, and blessing, our union. I loved having her there. I also wanted her to see firsthand that the temple is a far superior place to get married than a local park.

Moments like these make my heart melt. Sammi said to me, "I hope David will think of me as at least half of his daughter." He is super sweet to her, and he knows to bring her mint chocolate chip ice cream when she needs it.

After all our searching, we ended up getting married at a park near our house. I was still scoping out the location the day of the wedding, and we did not know exactly where we would be, until the very moment of the ceremony. We were trying to find a mostly secluded spot. It goes against my very nature to be so spontaneous with something so important, but after the answer I received from God to hurry up and make it happen, I was open to pretty much anywhere. I just wanted to marry David.

David has the sweetest family, the Youngbergs. I love them, and I am thrilled to be part of their family. David has 8 siblings, and it seems like everyone I run into knows a Youngberg!

I love Sammi in this picture... my kids have put up with a lot of kissing over the last 8 months. ;)

Here we have Daniel getting ready for Prom. He is quite the Dapper Dan.

Oh man, I love them!

The kids have had all sorts of choir concerts.


I love the temple. It is my source of peace when peace is gone.

Sammi performing at the Encore parent night.

We hiked/jogged up Table Rock. The yellow flowers were out and so glorious!

David and I went with Daniel. Daniel flew up the mountain a lot faster than us, but we made it too!

Daniel has been really working out and getting healthy.

Here he is doing some modified rock climbing.

He spent last summer at Scout camp teaching rock climbing. This year he will be working at the YMCA as a lifeguard.

David had to climb too.

We went to the Youngbergs for a family gathering. Their family is musical too! Daniel spent some time singing with the brothers. We really missed Sammi (she was sick), we could have used her piano skills. But it was so adorable watching the boys all working together making music! It made David's mom really happy. And me too!

A new way to jump on the trampoline...

We went to the Village in Meridian, to watch the Avengers movie. The movie was tolerable, I suppose. ;) But what was really nice, was walking around the Village fountains at night. Did you know this location was where David and I first kissed? I will share more about that later... but it was the first time we had been back there since. It is such a romantic place!

I love this guy!

So fun!

More Prom pics...



Watch out world, here they come!

Beautiful ladies...

Daniel as a sophomore, and his senior date. Does it scare me that he can date now? Yep. 

Fun in the sun on the California choir trip.

Sammi received a very special Maestro Award while they were in California. She stood on the Hyperion stage in Disneyland, the place where they perform the Frozen musical. She was backstage with the Frozen props, and she said it was an other-worldy experience when they called her name and she walked onto the stage. (Disneyland is an extremely special place for our family, so it was an intense heavenly moment for her.)

She had performed a phenomenal solo during their choir performance competition, and she was awarded for her performance, and she was praised and complemented for putting her whole body and soul into the music. She had not even originally tried out for the solo, because she had just been Cinderella, and she did not think she had a chance. But the choir teacher asked her to try out, and she was the right voice and dynamic for the job. It was such a blessing and miracle for her. I could not be more proud of her for being so brave, and putting all of her guts into her music, without fear!

Sammi came with me on a date to try and find a wedding dress, for me. Everything about it felt so weird! It was all backwards! I walked through the bridal store with my daughter, while she tried to help her mother find the right wedding dress.

What has happened to my life?

Sammi could not resist trying on a few dresses along the way. That was the fun part, because there was no pressure for her! But I was not happy with any of the dresses at the bridal store. They were either immodest, or shaped like a big bulky white fluff-bomb. I am almost 40.  I did not want to look like a puffy white cupcake, with sparkly sequins sprinkles.

Cute Sammi. :)

Here I am, a widow, mother of 4, standing in front of a wedding dress, and I am wondering how in the world I got to this strange place in my life.

After searching the stores, and finding only expensive-fluff-ball-style-dress-disappointment, I decided to turn to the Internet. I found an online store that sells more glorified temple-style dresses, and I immediately found one that I absolutely loved. I bought it for under $100, and I was one happy girl! I felt beautiful, rather than bulky. 

 

I found some random Cinderella pictures... Sammi was being so expressive! She stayed in character the whole time.

These kids are royal to me!

I love my beautiful babies!

Sammi is really going to miss her choir friends. It has been a family for her!

I went to the temple with my parents. I love my mom and dad! They were so good and helpful during the whole getting married process! They have been traveling around lately, going to as many temples as they can.

Me and my boys, back when it was cold. :)

We went to the dinner before Cinderella. It was so fun to be there with family.

Love this girl!

Love my family!

David was not going to be able to make it to a dance after the Cinderella play. He was planning on it, but things came up that would keep him from coming. But, at the very last minute before the dance started, he showed up, and we were able to have that special moment together. He won some major points with my sister for being my Prince Charming that night. And I fell in love with him, even more.

Sammi was excited to find a picture of her Cinderella wedding dress, hanging on the Morrison Center wall. They had borrowed it from BSU. The Cinderella tiara she wore was from the real Cinderella Broadway musical. The makeup artist who made Sammi Cinderella had the tiara, and allowed her to wear it. So special!

See! Same dress!

It was a force beyond the two of us that brought us together... that is for sure! 

David is so good with Henry and his energy.

And finally, another friendly reminder... 

Go to the store and grab some crunchy-style Cookie Butter! 

Your life will be better for it. 

I know mine is! ;)