A Widow's View on Motherhood

Motherhood is under attack. The very hands that raise the generations are being slapped, again and again. Mothers are bombarded with constant messages that devalue their sacred work. The angels who hold the most distinguished title that there is on this earth, need a pat on the back for their glorious and eternal work.

Mothers are simply marvelous.

"The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only, and that is to support the ultimate career." - C.S. Lewis

I believe in motherhood. I believe that motherhood is the ultimate career. I believe that families should do whatever they can to make it possible for the mother to be in the home, with the children. I readily recognize that this is not always possible -- but so often it could be, with a little bit of sacrifice and effort. Despite what some might say, it is worth the sacrifice. If all mothers in the world purposefully left the home and their children for material pursuits, the world would quickly disintegrate into a very terrifying place of darkness.

That's a promise.

I will admit that staying home with my children was not as important to me, as it has become. I had some tough decisions to make right before I gave birth to my first child. But with encouragement from my husband, and after much soul-searching and prayer -- I knew that I must stay home with my sweet babies. I was willing to do whatever it took to help support and provide for our family, and we were blessed with opportunities for me to do that, including managing the apartment building we lived in.

We made the choice for me to be at home, and the way was provided for us. Not an easy way, or a golden-paved road to glory way -- but there was a path, a challenging path, and we followed it.

Charles and I have made sacrifices -- large and small -- so that I could be home with the children. We have certainly done without many frivolities over the years -- including a time while in college, where we went without a car in Alaska. Charles always worked hard to provide monetarily for the family, while I have worked hard to provide for our family's peace and well-being. It has not been easy. But we have never, ever, regretted it.

As a widow, I still do not regret it. And I never will.

Motherhood is hard work! Staying home with your children can be physically and emotionally taxing. Show me a career that isn't. When you commit your life to the care of another person, you are expanding the capacity of love in your heart -- and that expanding process can be painful! Sometimes you sacrifice your own worldly pursuits and pleasures, to raise your children with love and a sense of security. Just remember you cannot take your worldly possessions with you when you die. I suppose you could stick them in your casket, per your request... though I doubt you'll care much then. However, your children can be yours forever. 

Which treasures will you pursue? 

I say all of this now, as the head of my household. It has been required of me to take on both roles in my home -- I now provide and nurture. The responsibility which ideally requires two -- a mother and a father -- is now placed solely upon my shoulders. It is a good thing I have broad shoulders. The way has been prepared for me to do both -- provide and nurture -- and I have been blessed. I find myself able to rise to the occasion, with Heavenly help, and I am very grateful.

I know how to be frugal. I eat frugal for second breakfast.

I believe in motherhood now, more than ever before. I believe that -- if it is possible -- you should make every effort to be home with your children. And I mean EVERY effort. Live small, live tight, live however you have to. The sacrifice is worth the blessings.

Before having my first child, I would consider myself kind of wishy-washy on the subject of mothers in the home. But now, I believe in it with all that I am. I know, my dear friends, that it is not always a possibility, I know it. But if it is... please, please, please, do what it takes to make it possible. And may Heaven bless you. If it is not possible to stay home with your children -- especially you dear single mothers -- than Heaven bless you doubly. Do your best, and it will be good enough!

Not all situations are ideal -- mine is certainly not -- but I still believe in the ideal. I will still preach the ideal. I may not have the "perfect family" situation, but I still believe in it!

I believe in it, because I have lived it, and I love it.

Mothers, your children need you at home. You are amazing. You are wonderful. You are the boss!

Don't let anyone tell you that there is something more important than the ultimate career.

Without mothers the world would be utterly wasted and empty.

Stand tall, Mothers. Darkness is gathered against you to defeat you.

You must not break, or give-up.

God needs YOU now.


P.S. I believe in Fatherhood too.