Running My First Marathon

They say that everything you ever want to know about yourself, you can learn in 26.2 miles. I now know more about myself than I ever expected to discover. On Saturday, June 11th, I traveled 26.2 miles, on foot! I made it to the end, but it was a journey far more challenging than what I could have imagined during my training. I did not anticipate the overwhelming desire to quit that consumed me, at the halfway mark. When they talk about the marathon being hard, they are not joking. It was crazy-hard. 

Let me rewind a bit, and share my Marathon experience... 

We arrived in Utah on Tuesday, to prepare for the big event. We stayed at my brother John's house. His family had been sick, but thought they were getting better. The night we arrived, the sickness party began. One by one, my family members got sick. And by sick, I mean a nasty stomach bug that was knocking people out, and sending them running to the toilet. I started to feel sick about getting sick. I had worked so hard, and I so badly wanted to accomplish my goal of running a marathon. 

It got closer to race day, with more and more family members falling ill. The stomach bug was extremely contagious. My fear began to grow, and I had a real worry that race day might be tainted with hurling. 

On Thursday morning, I had a strong impression to go to the temple with my sister, Kary. Kary was my marathon running partner. I let her know my temple plan, and she agreed it was a good idea. We coordinated schedules, and that evening we went to the Provo City Center Temple to complete some ordinances, and feel the Spirit of the temple. The temple was also going to be our finish line for the marathon, so it felt perfect to be there a few days before, basking in the light and love of God. It was rejuvenating, and filled us full of hope and courage. 

This temple is particularly amazing, because the Tabernacle that it once was burned down, and had to be rebuilt from the ashes into something even more beautiful and holy. It is extraordinarily heavenly inside. It is so rich with color, and gloriously crafted. We took a wrong turn as we left the temple, and we went out a different way we came in. But as I looked on the wall as we walked out, there was a picture of a rainbow. I decided it was not a wrong turn after all... we would have missed my special rainbow! 

Here we are outside the temple. 

It is such a magnificent building. 

The following morning, we got ready and went to the Convention Center to pick up our numbers. It was an exciting moment to see my name and number. They even spelled my name right! Yea! 

It was a flurry of activity and people were trying to sell us stuff. 

Here is my sister Kary checking out the map of the course. 

I checked out the race guide and started feeling a little anxious. 

My sister brought me a goodie bag of lovely things. One of my favorite treats was this running bracelet to wear during the marathon. 

She had a matching bracelet that said, "Believe." 

I was happy to find my name on the list. 

Mari van Ormer from Boise, signed up for a marathon! Woo!  

I spent the day on Friday with my sister's family. We drove the course through Provo canyon, to check it out ahead of time. I became a little nervous when I saw the amount of hills. The course had some pretty intense uphill, and some crazy downhill stretches that seemed to go on forever. 

When we finished driving the course we went to a park and tried to relax. We both felt really relaxed, I felt so peaceful it was almost bothering me. We spent the evening drinking loads of water, and carbo-loading on sweet potatoes and bagels. We did most of our energy-food intake on Thursday. I did not want to run with a gut full of pasta. Blah. I was still a little paranoid about coming down with the stomach bug, it was still spreading through the family. 

I spent the evening at my brother-in-law's parents house. I forgot to take a picture of all my clothes and things laid out ahead of time. I had everything ready, and my sister came down to where I was staying, to double-check everything with me. We also said a prayer together, to give us some peace and reassurance. 

We tried to get to sleep at around 7:00pm, because we had to be awake at the ridiculous hour of 1:00am. We had to leave to catch a bus by 2:30. I crawled into bed, but sleeping was not happening. I was wide awake and anxious as could be. I finally fell asleep around midnight. So, yep, I got an hour of rest before the alarm went off. 

I showered to help wake me up, and then I got on all my gear, and slathered myself with run-goo. (It worked miracles, and I had 0 blisters or chaffing.) I was super excited to just get going. I had energy coming from adrenaline. It was marathon day! 6 months of running came down to this one day!  

We got in the car to drive to the buses. My brother-in-law, Ray, turned on The Fight Song in the car on the way there. It was 2:30am, and I was belting out my song, hoping to wake-up my courage. At this point I was still incredibly peaceful... almost too peaceful. I had energy, but I was not nervous. It was unexpected to be so calm. 

We got to the buses in time to hop on the very first bus! It was a luxury bus, so it was worth it, rather than getting on a school bus. We had to ride all the way from the Convention Center in Provo, through the Provo Canyon, and to Wallsburg: the starting line. 

Ray and Kary ready to run! 

We were pretty excited about the comfort of the bus. We took some time to eat a banana and a bagel, we also kept hydrating. Shoving down food at 3:30am is lots of fun. 

We arrived at the starting line, where we had to wait in the dark and cold for 2 hours. The official start time was at 6:00am. They had fire pits so we could stay warm, but I still began to shiver. Brrr!! 

Check out all those marathon runners getting ready to go for it. 

Check out the line of Porta-Potties! It was amazing! 

Using the bathroom was interesting. They had them leaning backwards so you had to go at an angle. Everyone was cracking-up about it. But really, it was nerve-wracking trying to manage not falling in, or feeling like you are going to fall over. 

My sister had us warm-up by jogging for about 5 minutes. It was pretty awesome because we found the place where the frontrunners were, and we ran with them. I should have taken a picture. It was so beautiful out there in the morning. It did seem to me that everyone was very tame. I expected more screaming and excitement. Maybe everyone was just tired? 

Here I am lined up at the start line. I still felt a little too calm. It was so strange to feel such peace. I thought I would feel way more nervous than I did. 

The gun went off at 6:00am, and off we went. For the first few miles we ran pretty "fast" between 8 and 9 minute miles. I just could not help it, it felt awesome to just go. My sister kept encouraging me to keep it steady and slower, but I felt so great. We ran strong through the first 7 miles. 

My Garmin watch stopped working about 3 miles in. It just didn't work out in the boondocks for some reason. My sister had a more powerful Garmin, and so she was in control of the numbers. This was probably a blessing and a curse, because I would be obsessed with the numbers on my arm, but I did not have that option. My sister would say slow down, or we gotta pick up the pace. I do wish my Garmin would have worked though, because I had trained with it, and was used to checking my own numbers. 

There were aide stations along the way, every 2 miles, starting at mile 3. We had predetermined to walk through the stations, as per our run-walk-run plan. It worked beautifully in the beginning. The road from Wallsburg to the Canyon was fairly flat and very pleasant to run on. 

And then the road changed from flat, to hills. They advertised the course as a downhill course, but this is not true. There was plenty of uphill too. It started around mile 8, right as you turn into the canyon road. The hills were long, and tedious. I began to realize something. I had not trained for hills! I had prepared with some minor hill work over the course of my training, but most of my runs were flat Idaho trails. What I had trained on, and what I was running in the marathon: were two very different things. It was almost symbolic, because right before the hills, the little sign on my courage bracelet starting coming off, and I had to "fix my courage." 

Just as we started traveling into the hills, one of Kary's great friends, Crystal, was there waiting at the edge of her parents driveway. She was out there with her family holding signs and she had cold bottled water for us. She also took some pictures. It was a great boost. Thanks, Crystal!! 

Here we are heading for the hills. 

We took the uphill slow and steady. 

They closed an entire side of the road, just so we could run. 

This was my fight song! And I tell you what, it was a FIGHT! There are no pictures in the canyon after this point. I was planning on documenting more of the miles, but after we passed the 14 mile mark, I unexpectedly tweaked my right calf muscle. I had a pain surging through my leg that I had never, ever, felt before. The uphills were hard, but it was the downhill that I was even less prepared for. We tried to fly on the downhill, but it almost felt like free-falling for my legs. 

At one point something happened, and it felt like my muscle had been removed from the bone. After my leg freaked out, so did I, and I hit the wall super early at mile 14. (It is usually around mile 19 or 20.) I felt sick, I felt like quitting, I did not know if I could go on with my wonky leg. In my training I had run two 20 mile runs, so it was not the miles, it was the hills. Every doubt that could creep into my head did, and I seriously considered telling my sister I could not go any farther. I kept plodding along, but my pace slowed way down. My sister stayed by my side, and helped me to keep going. 

I had put some leg cramp medicine in my belt before the race, but when I went for it, it was gone, it must have fallen out or something. I had to do a quick stop at the first aide station and pick up some Ibuprofen. It did not do much for me, but I was not willing to quit. If I had to walk the whole thing, I would. I was going to finish. 

I just did not feel like I was going to finish. 

Those miles between 14 and 20 dragged on forever. We would go up, and then we would have extreme downhill. At one point I found a dead butterfly on the road, and I picked it up. I felt like the butterfly -- all mangled and smashed -- but I was not willing to lay down on the ground and have my wings crushed. 

I had to fly! 

Not too long after that, I told Kary it did not feel like I was getting much help from my ancestors, which I was hoping for, and I really needed some help. I anticipated feeling close to them on the journey, since it was the same trail they traveled to help settle the Heber Valley. I felt mostly a strange and awful emptiness. 

Not two minutes later, after pleading for some help, I looked over on the side of the road, and I saw a sign that said, "There is still a lot of fight left in you!" I could not believe it, because throughout the 13 miles of the canyon, there were really no spectators, or people cheering. There was no where for people to park. So it was a long and quiet road, without cheerleaders. The sign was just what I needed at that point: mile 18. My cousin, Kellie, and her husband had gone out the night before and placed signs along the way for us. I realized something at that moment; I was receiving help from both sides of the veil. Cousin Kellie descends from my same pioneer ancestors, and was inspired to place that sign there just for us. I cannot tell you how much it helped. 

I must also mention the weather. It was a miracle. It was cool and overcast, with occasional rain drops. The weather had drastically changed from the previous week of hot, sunny days. There was one point in the canyon when the wind was blowing so hard, and though it made it even more challenging, I welcomed the coolness. It was no coincidence that the weather was cool and tolerable. Had it been hot, I might have passed out. The weather was so perfect, I just knew it was a gift from Heaven. 

The canyon portion of the run was by far the most mentally and physically challenging for me. I felt totally unprepared for what I was doing. My sister had to pull back and really stay with me, as she is much more acquainted with hill running in Alaska. I told my sister to scrap the time goals, I just wanted to finish, and nothing else mattered. My dreams of keeping a 10 minute mile pace was out of the question. Every time I took a step, it felt like my calf muscle had a knife jabbed into it. 

I had to fight with all that I had in me. None of my mantras, or positive thoughts, or anything I had prepared with was helping. I had music playing, but it just seemed irritating. It was truly a battle of the mind, and I was weakening quickly. 

Somehow, we made it out of the canyon. It was such a relief, because I knew the hills would stop when we got out of there. We turned onto a main city road, and anticipated seeing family waiting for us between mile 21-22. When I wanted to quit back at mile 14, all I could think of was that my family would be so disappointed if I gave up. They knew how hard I had worked. They wanted it for me. I ran the last half of the marathon just for them. The thought of my children kept me going, despite the pain. I wanted them to be proud of their mommy. I was not going to let them down. 

When we got to my family, I was so happy to see them. They had prepared the best signs ever! They were so excited for us, they had been waiting for quite a while, since our projected time was way off. 

 They had fun holding the signs for other runners while waiting for us.

 Here they are waiting for us to come run by... they were at around mile 22.

I definitely died a few times, and had to walk it off. But even just being out of the canyon and around the city made the run so much more enjoyable. My energy was spent, but my mental was so relieved as we entered uncharted territory for me... like mile 21, 22, 23, 24... etc. The finish line was getting so close, I could taste the Creamies waiting for us at the end.

The last 6 miles seemed to go by pretty fast for me, at least mentally. The road was so straight towards the finish line, I could see the temple from miles away, and so I focused on it as my goal. I would try and really pick up the pace, but my leg was telling me to forget it, and take it nice and easy to the end. I was planning on only eating shot blocks and water, but I started grabbing the gatorade, bananas and oranges. I just knew I needed more fuel. I was willing to risk the gut issues. With my goal changed from a time to just finishing, I was willing to crawl or roll all the way there.

This marathon was the hardest thing I have ever done. And I have done some pretty hard things as a widow. The marathon is a mental challenge like no other. 

My reason for running the marathon was to see if I really had the courage that I keep talking about. "Cling to Courage," I say. Well, I tell you now, I had to really dig deep and find my courage, because it was lost along the journey. Without my sister by my side, my family to lift me up, and the courage to continue... I would have never made it. It took everything that I had to finish. I had to let go of my fear, find my courage, and sing my Fight Song. 

We made it! I made it! I did not die, I did not quit, or give into my fears, or my pain. I kept going! 

It was a sweet and satisfying victory! And my family was there waiting at the finish line. 

 Hugs all around...

 My cousin Kellie came to cheer us on. She ran the same marathon a few years ago. She was the one who put up the sign that I needed so badly.

 My little brother, Johnny, giving me a big bear hug.

 We made it to the temple! What better and more symbolic finish line could there be?

Can you tell I am SO happy?! Woo! I love my family! They are so good to me. They all made sacrifices to be at the finish line. My parents flew down from Alaska just for the moment, and sadly my dad got the sickness so he could not be there, but was there in spirit. My parent's sacrifice was no small thing, as they were just in a bad car accident a few weeks ago, and my mother is still in pain from it. Of course I thought of that, when I considered giving up. It is so nice to be loved, and to have such a supportive family.

I wandered around and grabbed some treats to eat afterwards. I drank chocolate milk, it never tasted so good. And I had a few Creamies... yum!

A final picture at the finish line. We came in with a time of 5:15. I was so hoping for under 5... but the course was far more challenging than I was ready for. Maybe next time... wait, what?

Next time?? 

All I know is I have a strong desire to start running up and down long hills, to make my legs even stronger. I discovered my weakness, and I want to remedy it. Besides my calf-muscle blowout, I felt fantastic. My breathing was great, my feet felt good, I had no blisters, chaffing, or any discomfort in the rest of my body. But now I know what I need to work on: Hills.

Now, I want to take a minute and express my love for my sister. She has run a bunch of marathons, and she could have easily blown this one out of the water with an awesome time. Instead, she offered herself as the wind beneath my wings, as I tried to mount up with wings as eagles, and finish my first marathon. I can only imagine how hard it was for her to pace herself to my pace, and to see me struggling to continue so early in the race. She was always there.

Sometimes I would put some space between us, so I could go inward, dig deep, and focus; but I would always see the back of her shirt which said, "I've still got a lot of fight left in me." It was like my own personal traveling billboard, encouraging me to keep going. My sister's life has not been without trials of her own. She spent years struggling with chronic fatigue, and she could barely get out of bed. She ran her first marathon to prove to herself that she was free from her illness, and she has never stopped running since. (See her post: HERE.) I simply could not have done it without her. I am so grateful she was willing to stay with me. Love you, Kary!

My brother held true to his promise of chocolate at the finish line. It was special chocolate from the Utah Truffle company. It was amazing.

The next day we went to church, and I wanted a picture with the sign Sammi and Grandma made for me. It was so perfectly beautiful. These were Charles' last words spoken to me before he died. "Mari, you are so beautiful. And I am so proud of you." And rainbows, well, they are just special to me.

At church one of the speakers said, "Happiness is not found in pleasure, but in victory." It touched my heart, as I know the joy of being victorious and coming out conquerer.

I did it. I conquered the marathon. There is great joy in the victory! 

My fight song has been sung. 

Hmmmm... so, what's next? 

Here is video from the marathon... 

P.S. Out of the 17 members of my family that gathered for the event, the only 3 that did not get the stomach bug, were the 3 that ran the marathon. Yes, I believe in miracles. (Sure, there is still the potential to get it, but at least we were preserved, so we could run!) 

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