Mothers and Daughters: Written by Charles

I have been cleaning out our garage. As I have been going through boxes, I found an old church folder, with a talk Charles was putting together. I found it profound and timely for me. It was a reminder of what is really important, and all that we have sacrificed, to do what is best for our family. The talk was a draft, unfinished -- he did give it at the pulpit -- I just don't have the finished product. I still found his message very powerful for me at this time. I am always so grateful to find anything that Charles has written, especially when it touches my heart in such a lovely way. I am so grateful he has always defended my role as a mother, and he continues to do so... even now.

Here is his talk... 

Today is the third Sunday in June, Father's day. This is a day that we set aside to honor fathers for all they do to enrich our lives. So, naturally, today in this Sacrament meeting, I am speaking to you about mothers and daughters.

President Gordon B. Hinckley had this to say to church leaders during the January 10, 2004 Worldwide Leadership Training meeting:

We call upon women of the church to stand together for righteousness. They must begin in their own homes. They can teach it in their classes. They can voice it in their communities. They must be teachers and guardians of their daughters.... When you save a girl, you save generations. She will grow in strength and righteousness. She will marry in The House of the Lord. She will teach her children the ways of truth. They will walk in her paths and will similarly teach their children. 

I see this as the one bright shining hope in a world that is marching towards self-destruction... 

We frequently speak of the strength of the priesthood, and properly so. But we must never lose sight of the strength of the women. It is mothers who set the tone in the home. It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. It is mothers who teach infants to pray, who read them choice and beautiful literature from the scriptures and other sources. It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount. 

President Heber J. Grant went so far as to say, "without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers this Church would die."

It is important to note that President Hinckley's one bright and shining hope for this world lies in its women, not missionaries, priesthood, apostles, or temples. When you save a girl, you save generations.

Men and boys, this Father's day let us recognize that motherhood and womanhood are under attack. Every Sunday in Priesthood opening exercises the men and boys of the Liberty Ward recite the purposes of the Aaronic Priesthood, the last of which is to "give proper respect to women, girls, and children." Men today let us commit to protect our great hope in these Latter-days, the mothers and daughters of the church.

The world would have women believe that motherhood is a burden or an obstacle to her achieving more important pursuits and motherhood should be put off until it's convenient or never attempted at all. As Latter-Day Saints, we understand that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual pre-mortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." As Latter-Day Saint women, you understand that the blessing and duty of motherhood is the natural consequence of womanhood in the Kingdom of God. Of all the titles and honors to which women can aspire on this earth, Mother is the only title and honor that will rise with her in the eternities.

Sister Beck, in her talk, "Mother's who know," taught, "The value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection. Women who desire and work towards that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood."

My wife, Mari, and I have been married for ten years now. Our time together has been pleasant, but not without difficulties. Very early on in our marriage, we were presented with a very critical decision that has affected almost every aspect of our marriage.

Within our first year of marriage, we decided to bring children into the world. With this decision came the decision of whether or not Mari would continue working after the baby was born. For many new mothers, the decision to stay at work is a difficult one because it means separation from her newborn, added expenses and other complications. For Mari, the decision to continue working could have been an easy one to make.

Mari worked at one of the best childcare facilities in town and could have brought Sammi to work with her. She would have had a discount for childcare and could see Sammi frequently throughout the day. Still, Mari decided to stay at home with the baby. This meant the full burden of supporting the family was my sole responsibility, and it has been ever since. We have never regretted our choice.

Living on one income has caused us to make many sacrifices over the last ten years. We have suffered many deprivations because we decided to keep Mari in the home, where she could provide 24 hour a day care for our children.

Despite all we have been through, if I were asked to make the choice again, I would not change a thing. I have always considered it my primary responsibility to support Mari in her calling as a mother and to do everything in my power to give her as much time with the children as possible.

I believe our children will have the greatest chance for success, in all the ways that success can be measured, if they have as much time with their mother as possible. While I am certain that it is no guarantee for success, I rest well at night knowing that I am doing everything within my power to give my children the greatest opportunity I can provide them. I am grateful I decided to take a stand for motherhood.

Elder Ballard reminded us in April, "our society is bombarded with messages about womanhood and motherhood that are dangerously and wickedly wrong... Popular culture today often makes women look silly, inconsequential, mindless and powerless. It objectifies them and disrespects them and then suggests that they are able to leave their mark on mankind only by seduction -- easily the most pervasively dangerous message the adversary sends to women about themselves."

But this Father's Day, I want to turn the focus back to the men. Brethren, in our defense of womanhood and motherhood, do more to create an environment where women and girls won't feel the need to flaunt themselves because they know you value them for their virtue, modesty and other Christ-like attributes.

As fathers, it's important to show your daughters you love them and care for them. Your daughters will learn from you to appreciate and desire the wholesome affection that only you can provide them. If your young daughters feel you love them, they will be less likely to seek male affection outside the home, and fall into the worldly patterns of dress, speech and action to achieve it.

Fathers, show your daughters you love your wife and their mother. Your daughters will remember that you love your spouse and that you showed her often in heartfelt and appropriate ways. When they date, your daughters will seek attention from boys who emulate the pattern you set in the home. Your daughter's healthy social life with boys will begin with her observations of you with her mother. In time, your daughters will seek out a companion who can also demonstrate the ability to be kind and affectionate and create a loving companionship.

Show the women in your life you value womanhood and motherhood by tuning out media sources that don't agree with your high moral standards. If you don't watch it, or look at it, the women in your life will notice, even if they don't say it. They will appreciate you for taking a stand, even a silent one. Better yet, be vocal about your opinion and you will influence the women in your life for good.

Men, this Father's day, let us commit to our duty as guardians of faith, charity, and hope. And to those ends, let us commit to do everything in our power to protect our most familiar embodiment of those virtues, the women of the church, our wives, daughters, mothers and sisters.