My Baby From Another Daddy

I am 40, and pregnant with my 5th child. This is, for me, a breathtaking and shocking reality. This child was not planned, expected, or even thought of as a likely possibility. And I certainly never thought I would be having a child with a man other than the father of the first four of my children. But, as usual, God has other plans for me. In fact, my plans never quite seem to line up with what God has in store for me. Maybe I should get a clue, and stop pretending like I have control over the details of my life? Maybe I should fully give in, and let God do the planning? 

When Charles died, I thought that was it; my baby-making days were over, of course. Along with many other possibilities, the possibility of another child seemed firmly ripped away with death. And even before Charles died, we were not planning on having anymore children together. Our four children were enough. We felt blessed to have the children that we had, and our van Ormer family felt complete. 

And then, years later, after Charles died, a man named David Youngberg enters my life. And it seemed that God was determined that David would change the course of my life completely. I tried to run from him, I tried to flee from the possibility of remarriage, and all of the struggle that I knew would come from it. But in the end, a force more powerful than good common sense took over, and David slowly won over my heart, as we dated, and fell in love. 

I knew I was meant to marry David, when I thought about the fact that, even if I broke up with him, I would still want to call and talk to him about life and things. I so enjoyed his company, his conversation, and, of course, his cuddling. I realized, it was him that I needed by my side, even if I was signing up for a life beyond my understanding; even if I was signing up for a life that was unknown, and a little bit overwhelming in its scope (we have 10 children between us to love and figure out.)  

I chose to marry David; but it seemed God chose David for me to marry. 

We were married for about a year when we discovered that God was going to change our lives dramatically, by blessing us with a new baby, together. 

We were shocked, and still are! 

David and I have both been working through the shock of it all, as it still feels unreal, even though I am in the 6th month of pregnancy. We have not bought anything, at all, for the baby; probably because we are still totally in denial about it. The baby is due in January, so I might want to start thinking about a newborn winter wardrobe, and warm cozy things to keep the baby warm. All of my other babies were born in Spring, or Summer, so this will be new and interesting having a baby right in the middle of winter. 

Of course, I feel the reality of this baby coming a lot more than everyone else, as my belly grows and my whole body has changed. But even still, I cannot imagine really having another child, another baby to love on, and snuggle on, and adore. It has been 8 years for me since I have had baby-time, and I have all but forgotten the sweet smell of newborn baby breath. 

I do love babies. I really, really, do. 

I love babies almost as much as I love having teenagers. 

Teenagers are my FAVORITE! 

It will be so interesting to have both at the same time! 

I am kind of child-birthing old (I will be almost 41 when baby is born), and the other children are growing older so nicely that I do feel a sense of motherhood-freedom slipping away; a freedom that was just within my grasp. My children are all very independent and self-reliant. I was so enjoying a new found freedom of motherhood, as my children are growing and some have become adults and motherhood had taken on a different kind of role. 

But now, with a new baby coming, I feel like I will be going back to the beginning, back to the motherhood basics with 24/7 nurturing and attention. I am not afraid, other than, I have really learned to love sleeping through the night. I will miss that, to be sure. This baby will have to buckle up for the ride though, because he will have to go everywhere with us! And he will be a lone child at home for around 10 years! He will likely have more chance at closer-aged friends with his nieces and nephews than his own siblings! Poor boy! 

I do feel a keen sense of love building inside of me, ready to be poured out on a brand new life. I am grateful that love is growing, along with the size of my pants. 

This baby, this baby who is our son, the son of Mari van Ormer and David Youngberg, he will be unique, and he will most certainly have an interesting life. He is the tenth child of a combined ten children. He is the fifth child of my biological five children. He is the one and only child of Mari and David. Like my Daniel said, "He is a new breed of baby." 

And after much contemplation and discussion, we have come up with a name for this special new breed of our van Ormer-Youngberg child. 

This child will be known as: 

Johnathan Van Youngberg

David's middle name is John, and the reason for "Van" as the middle name is to connect him to my van Ormer children. The name "Van" simply means "of." So, this child is: Johnathan of Youngberg. And the name meaning of Johnathan is: God has given. And, clearly, God has given Johnathan to us. 

He will be my baby Johnny, fathered of my David Youngberg, given to us by God! 

I am still currently Mari van Ormer, but one day, I plan to move van Ormer to my middle name, and Youngberg as my last name. I want to be connected by name to all of my children, and I want to be connected by name to David, too. 

You would not believe the amount of complexities there are to being a remarried widow, and having to figure out all of the crazy details of this-and-that, with name changes, etc. It is all so personal, and should be treated as such. David is perhaps the most accepting man I have met in regards to what he wants me to do. He leaves it to me and my discretion, and oh how I love him for that. 

The name "van Ormer" has been part of my identity since I was 19 years old, it is part of who I am. I have been praying about what to do about changing it, and for now, my feeling is that I do not need to worry about the wrong things. In time, the answers will come to me, and it will work out. 

For now, I am just so grateful for this baby that is coming to us. This baby boy is a miracle. A miracle that I could not have even imagined as a possibility, ever in my life. I am very nervous and excited to meet this little man of ours, and to see this new breed of baby that we have made together; this new gift from God. 

I don't know much, but I know I love him. 

And that may be, all I need to know.