My Need to Run

I gave myself a break with running. After the marathon, I just became burnt out from it. I could barely get myself out the door, and I really did not like running alone; something I have always loved to do. I would go running slowly, and not very many miles, but it was a real effort to want to lace up my shoes. I went from running crazy-long distances, to barely running 5 miles. My lack of desire was concerning to me.

Over the last few weeks, I have been sick, and have not been able to workout at all. As a result, I have felt gross. I cannot stand not exercising for very long. My body craves it, loves it, wants it. I had switched from running to TaeBo, and more strength-training, but that was not giving me the same thrill as running once did. I enjoy exercising indoors, but not the way I enjoy being out in nature. Running is more than just exercise: it is therapy, mind-clearing, and a beautiful way for me to connect with my Heavenly Father.

I was actually given a blessing that I need to exercise out in nature, to stay connected with God. This is the best way I can clearly hear and listen to the Holy Ghost. The clarity that running has provided for my brain and body, also seems to cleanse my spirit and allows me to feel the things I need to feel, and process the things I need to process and work through. I have solved a variety of problems just by heading out for a run. My entire outlook on life can change by going out and breathing in the glorious endorphins.

I went running for the first time in a long time. It felt awful at first, like I had never run before. But as I kept trucking along, my body started to remember what to do, and I began to feel alive and free again. I am still on the tail-end of illness, and I had to stop and cough really hard a bunch of times, but it was still enlivening. They say never believe the first few miles, and it is so true. My body just starts warming-up and then it gets in the groove the longer I go. It really is a mental battle to push past the miles that feel so hard, to the miles that feel so good.

I wrote back in the summer how excited I was to run during autumn, and yet I have only run a handful of times during this fall season. It has been phenomenally good weather, and I have missed so many perfect running days. But there is no looking back now, bring on the winter running! I am from Alaska, and so winter running is like going back to my frostbitten roots.

After being sick, my desire to get out there -- to breathe and feel alive -- has grown. I want to run again. I am ready to run again. It is a missing element in my life, and I can feel the uncomfortable difference; in both my body and spirit.

I need that time to draw closer to God, to hear His voice and counsel for me.

It is not about whether or not I love running.

The fact is, I need to run.

I better get to it.