Sammi's Questions About Love
and my Mom has graciously let me put a post on her blog... she is just awesome like that... :)
I've been thinking a lot about Love lately... and I have decided that I want to conduct some research on the topic. I want to gather lots of stories from your experiences, so I can learn from them and also just enjoy hearing your different love stories. Real life experiences make the best fairytales.
So, I have a series of four questions that I would love for you to answer, and here they are:
1) How did you meet your spouse?
2) What was the first year of marriage like? (Please, be 100% honest!)
3) What do you love about your spouse?
4) How would you define love?
Please... I would love to hear from anyone... even anonymous blog readers!
Thanks for your help! I can't wait to hear your stories! :)
Hi Sammie,
ReplyDeleteGreat questions!
1) I met my first husband in high school. we were young when we married (19 years old) and thought we were ready. We rushed into a wedding and then a baby and we were divorced before we hit our two year anniversary.
I stayed unmarried and dated very little while my son was growing up.
I met my second husband in 2009 when my son was 14. I met him online, but because we were embarrassed by that so we told everyone we met at the library because we both liked to read alot.
2) for my first marriage, since we divorced so quickly, you can assume that we fought ALOT and you would be correct.
my second marriage we spent alot of time talking before we got married about what we wanted from each other, and what we thought marriage was like and what it should be. Even after all that talking, our first year was tough. We fought and we threw around the word divorce quite a few times. It was around the time of our first anniversary that we had a big blown out fight and I was ready to walk away. we talked through it and really talked and heard each other for one of the first times in our marriage. First years are hard, its an adjustment to share your life and learn to live with someone after being your own person for so long.
3) what do I love about my spouse.... hmmm, it would be a shorter list of what I didnt love :)
He was truly the love of my life. I loved his corney jokes, I loved that he worked so hard for our family. I loved that he would help anyone that needed help if he could. I loved that he cooked sometimes and I loved that he loved my son. I loved that he would smile at me and always seemed to know when i needed a hug. I didnt always tell him these things, and to often acted like he drove me crazy. He died in 2016, just 4 years after we were married. now that he is gone, I can think of so many more things that i love about him.
4) I've learned that love is not just a feeling, its an action. Its wanting to do whatever is needed for your spouse to make their life better before you start anything for yourself. Its putting their needs before yours.
Hope this helps answer some of your questions Sammie.
1- we met when we were both working at Chick fil A
ReplyDelete2- It was definitely hard. Especially for me because there was a lot to learn about being married, and not living at home. And then him joining the military.
3- he makes me laugh
4- "Love, true love..." it's like no other feeling. You feel completely overwhelmed, and yet content at the same time. Everything in your life may be utterly confusing, and yet love makes sense. It may even feel like you are going to explode because you didn't realize you could love another as much as you do. You would sacrifice all for them. And Christ did that for us. You stop thinking inward, and look to them because you crave their happiness. Love is a lot of things. Definitely the most beautiful thing in the world.
Question 1: My husband and I met in high school. He was one of my best friends.
ReplyDeleteQuestion 2: My first year of marriage is a blur. It was a lot of learning about each other. Learning to compromise, grow, change, bend, stand firm, and communicate. Communication is a big key to success in marriage. Learning to read each other, listen to each other, and understand what is being said. You can't change your spouse but you can change how you react to the things that might bother you about your companion.
Question 3) There are many things that make my heart happy when I think about my husband. He is caring, loving, thoughtful, and smart. He knows a lot about everything. He can fix anything. He strives hard to honor his priesthood. A very important thing I love is that he loves to go to the temple with me and he loves our Savior.
Question 4: Love is selflessness. It's encouraging your spouse when you are tired. It's making them dinner when you are to sick to eat yourself. It's making sure that their clothes are clean when they need them. It's putting gas in the car for your wife--my husband does this a lot. It's cleaning off the car for your spouse before you leave so that when she goes to work it's clean. I definitely is worth every minute you spend making their life easier. You cannot leave God out of the equation. Love is much better when the Savior is part of both of your lives.
Sammi! My lovely cousin!! What fantastic questions you have been asking!! First of all, I wanted to say Thank you for asking!! It had given me quite few minutes to ponder as I want to be as honest as I can!!
ReplyDeleteQ1: I met Michael at the Murray Park in Murray, Utah for the weekly UAD (Utah Association of the Deaf) Summer Picnic. Few facts about the meet, I was almost 16, just checking out the Deaf Community with few of my close Deaf friends; Michael had just got home from his mission at the end of spring. Last fact, I remembered meeting him as we played sand volleyball, he doesnt, when he saw the pictures we took, he was like, I remembered but didn't see your face as it was so bright and he thought he met an angel. We then met again during the summer after I graduated high school, of course Michael happened to be single, we started dating for few weeks, then went about ourselves dating others, we were then drawn together again as we knew we were supposed to be together. (On our first date, we had a really conversation, we learned that we somehow knew each other 'pre-earth', one thing led to others)
Q2: Our first year together was an amazing experiences for us! We still act like honeymooners! That's how strong our love for each other are like! Of course, we were learning the 'life', new jobs, we lived in 2 different apartments. As we back then are still struggling with how to budget and trying to get a home, we of course got into debts in few years, a lot of things we had wished we learned and be brave enough to ask for help/advice from family like parents. Loving to visit the temple together, hanging out with 'Newlyweds' group through our Deaf Ward and experiencing each other (as my mom and I had an inspiring conversation/discussion, we talked about sex Life and how to apply our Gospel and Love into it. She reminded me that Our Heavenly Father wants us to constantly love each other in many ways, that's how powerful I can see especially I know of the strong love of my parents, and for us to have the same thing but in our own way.) and this September will be our 22nd anniversary. It's amazing how the time flies by, if you are with that one person, you are One together.
Q3: at first, it's his gentleness. Through out many years together, i keep up adding to the list of what I love about it. It's like that song, Count Your Many Blessings. I could go on and on and on. So as of today (it could be something else tomorrow), I appreciate his patience and support of me. That's my Mike.
Q4: my definition of Love: Loyal, Optimistic, Valiant & Expressive. We always test each other in different ways. We try to improve as much as we can together. Regardless of our disabilities and struggles, we are there together and we have our language to communicate. Also for me, love is also his smile and laughter, my heart kept on pounding and bursting with a lot of things! I love my Michael Robert Fife.
Again, thank you Sammi! You are one beautiful Young Woman I have ever known. Thank you for your inspiration and love for others!
Love always!
Annie (Anne Post Fife)
\|m| (I love you in ASL)
Sammi--I'm a friend of your mom's and a blog-stalker. I love this subject, too! I wrote about it on my blog several years ago, and here are the links: http://daveandjendunn.blogspot.com/2008/04/how-dave-and-i-met-part-i.html, http://daveandjendunn.blogspot.com/2008/05/how-dave-and-i-met-part-ii-courtship.html, http://daveandjendunn.blogspot.com/2008/05/how-dave-and-i-met-final-act.html
ReplyDeleteAs far as first year of marriage--everything went smoothly for three months, and then I got pregnant, which made me very sick and hormonal and emotional. Dave was happy to be a dad, and he took great care of me.
The things I loved about him when we were dating really haven't changed much. He is still the most patient person I know. He prepared himself to take care of a family and honor his priesthood before marriage, and he still takes those responsibilities seriously.
The English language has insufficient words for all the different kinds of "love" that exist--you can say you "love a sandwich" and obviously, it isn't the same feeling you have for your husband, which is different than how you love your kids, or your friends, or you parents, etc. I miss the giddy days when we fell in love, but we still love being together.
I met my husband in high school when I was 15 and he was 16. We were mostly just friends, though towards the end of high school we both liked each other. We kept in touch throughout his mission and we got married when I was 20 and he was 21.
ReplyDeleteThe first year of marriage was full of unmet expectations for both of us! There were so many things we should have discussed before we got married!!! We both had expectations about what marriage would be like and we didn't know or understand the others' expectations, which led to hurt feelings and years of problems.
I love so many things about my husband! What I love most is that he loves me no matter what and has patiently loved me through the years of hurt and pain in the early part of our marriage. He is honest and seeks truth. He sincerely follows the Savior.
I define love as charity, which can be found in the scriptures. One of the biggest manifestations of love in my opinion is selflessness.
Hi Sammi!
ReplyDeleteGreat questions.
1) We met playing in the same orchestra.
2) Our first year of marriage was awesome. But we had moved in together one year prior to our wedding. (We are not mormons). Moving in together was a huge adjustment.
3) I love about my husband that he is very selfless. He always puts me first; my wellbeing, my comfort, my happiness. He`s quick to say he`s sorry after a fight, even when I started it. He encourages me to pursue my hobbies and fulfill my dreams because it makes me happy. (Of course I am trying to do all these things as well but he`s way better at it than I am).
4) Real love is unconditional. It means loving someone when he is his best and his worst. It means loving someone for who he really is; his weakness and talents and interests and weirdness and really everything else. Real love never stops, it never vanishes. It also means putting your significant other first. And compromise, hold back. And never asking him to do anything that he simply can`t do because it`s not him. (Doing all this is a permanent learning curve for me, I have to admit). :-)
Hi Sammi!
ReplyDelete1. We met at a student ward in college. We only dated a few weeks when we knew we were going to get married.
2. Our first year of marriage was amazing and difficult. I got pregnant after a couple months and was very sick, I had to quit my job and struggled with my health. But the marriage part of it was great! We had a few disagreements as we learned to live together, but they helped us gain a strong foundation for the past 12 years.
3. I love that my husband is so Christ-like. He is so hard working and supportive of me and our children. Some of our kids are special needs children and he is so patient and loving to them. He has stood by me through many surgeries, including a very difficult brain surgery that took nearly a year to recover from. He has a great sense of humor and helps me to laugh when I'm struggling.
4. Love to me is acceptance and sacrifice. Often times when we've been the happiest in marriage is when we put each other's needs in front of our own. When I'm giving everything to serve him and he's giving everything to serve me we are both taken care of and loved.
You should read the book about the five love languages. When you find your significant other's love language and are able to show them love in a way they can accept it, love is magnified and relationships are stronger. It even works great for family members and friends!
You're an incredible girl with an amazing mom! Hugs!
How did you meet your spouse? We were neighbors in a college town.
ReplyDelete2) What was the first year of marriage like? We were so blissfully in love that we hardly noticed the changes that marriage brought. Marriage is a wonderful gift. I'd say becoming parents was a harder transition for us.
3) What do you love about your spouse? We can talk about anything and everything. I can be myself around him.
4) How would you define love? Love is work. Love is compromise. Love is friendship. Love is working to improve yourself so that the whole family benefits.