Deliberately Seeking Peace

Summertime is not really a peaceful time. It seems a flurry of activity, mostly because the kids are home all the time, and there is just so much fun to be had. But along with the fun, I find that I need to stop and have peace. Peace is important to me. I need to have moments of peace and pondering in order to fully function properly; it is just part of who I am. 

I can sometimes feel overwhelmed by my thoughts. My thoughts can get carried away into worrying about the future, and how things are going to play out for myself, and my family. It is not really a new thing, I often tried to predict the future even before Charles passed away. I find that it has just been made more extreme now, since my dreams and plans for the future have been shattered and rearranged without my permission. I never dreamed that I would be a widow. Charles was supposed to live to be old and gray along side me. I had dreams of us going on missions, and playing with grandchildren. Those dreams are gone. 

As I ponder my future, I have to reflect on past blessings I have received and counsel I have been given. I have been given some guidance for the future, and some of it leaves me feeling more anxious than peaceful. But, I am trying to fully trust in God, and most of all His timing with everything. His timing is not my timing. I have been instructed to be patient, and that is not the easiest thing to do. I seek peace in my patience. 

My favorite place to go for peace is the temple. I have been able to go twice this week, as I have needed extra guidance lately. I went alone and was filled with joy and comfort and a renewed sense of purpose in life. It is amazing what the temple can do for you. I came home with new ideas of how to make things in my home more comfortable and how to get things in order. I was at a loss before attending the temple; my mind was like lightning after the temple, with ideas and energy galore. It kind of shocked me. 

Today I was able to take Sammi and Daniel to the temple. It was Daniel's first time. He said he loved it! It was a beautiful experience, and we are excited to return again soon. It was such a blessing to be able to take my children there and enjoy the Spirit of the Lord together. I am a lucky mama. 

While I was sitting waiting for them in the temple, I was reading in the Bible. I came across the answer to pretty much all of my current questions: 

"But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. " - Luke 12:31

Sure there are a bunch of little details and decisions that must be made in my life, but the most important thing for me to do is: Seek the Kingdom of God. To me this means to attend the temple; The Throne of God on earth. I need to make the temple a priority in my life. I was going weekly, but it had been thrown off with summer traveling and schedules. I felt a keen and unpleasant difference in my life after not going as often. I need the temple in my life, and I need it frequently. I am infused with power from Heaven when I attend. I simply function much better after dwelling in the House of the Lord. 

I know as I seek after the things of God, everything else will just work out. I do not need to worry. As I go and open doors and serve others through the work of the temple, Heavenly Father will make sure doors are opened for my family, and that the future will be as bright as my faith. And my faith is made brighter by going to The House of the Lord. Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. He knows what doors to open for me, and when to open them. As I seek to do His will, I will know when to walk through the doors He has opened for me. 

I also read these scriptures in the temple in John chapter 16: 

20. Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice; and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy. 

22. And ye now therefore have sorrow; but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you. 

23. And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you. 

24. Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. 

33. These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. 

Be of good cheer, be at peace. Jesus has overcome the world. Sorrow can be turned into joy. Seek the Kingdom of Heaven and have the peace that is so greatly missing from this world. 

If you want peace, you have to seek it. 

Here are some things I do for peace.... 

I have been doing a little "Light" reading lately. The book Jesus The Christ is amazing. I love it. It is just the kind of spiritual food I love to feast on. I would rather read deep doctrine than a fantasy novel any day. It is just how my brain works, I thrive on beautiful truth. The reality of Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation is far more glorious and superior than anything mortals can conjure up in their minds for entertainment. Don't get me wrong, I love to be entertained too; but learning and focusing on why we are here on earth is necessary to experience true happiness. 

I purchased myself some new running shoes. I had worn through my other shoes, and it was time to go another level brighter. The colors now are crazy. The shoes I bought even glow in the dark. They have taken me on some pretty decent runs so far. I think I like them. My feet are experiencing more peace now, my other shoes had lost their bounce. 

I also got myself a way to track the distance and time that I run. I normally just run free and I have no idea how far I travel most of the time. But I decided it was time to figure it out. It has been super helpful and I tend to run farther now that I know how far I go. It also tells me how many calories I burn, which is pretty helpful information. I am not sure this helps with peace, actually. Numbers have never really caused my brain much peace, they tend to make my brain spin. But still, I need to challenge myself. I can't run with it everyday, because sometimes I run purely for my spirit and to be free. Running outside is one of my top ways of feeling peace. It is a HUGE stress reliever. 

If you are waiting for me to respond to a message or text, it might take awhile. I have been pulling back a bit from those things, and trying to live more in the moment. Sometimes I miss the days when communication was not so instant. You know, back in the days when the phone was attached to the wall and not permanetly attached to the hand. Those were the good old days. They were much more peaceful days, that is for sure. 

This is a sweet moment I enjoyed just watching the kids sing and play the piano and building train tracks. I know I will blink and it will be over before I know it. I love to be home, my home is full of peace. I try to take quiet moments to just soak in the peace of our home. Home is where my heart is. 

I find great peace running by the river. I sometimes stop and just breathe and be. It is important to stop and be in the moment, and live today. There is something about flowing water that is so soothing. 

I love my children. I could not do it without them. These kids are awesome. I have been blessed to have children with great physical and spiritual strength. For example, I took Daniel with me grocery shopping, he told me to just go sit in the car while he loaded the groceries (there were a lot). When we got home, all the kids ran out and unloaded, and Sammi put everything away in its proper place, while I took care of some other household duties. All the kids help with things, from cleaning to cooking; we work together. We are a team, and these kids know how to be team players. I am so very grateful for them. They are not living a "normal" family life, but I am determined that they will live the best life possible, and that includes teaching them how to function in the world; both spiritually and temporally. It gives me great peace being surrounded by such wonderful children.

After the temple trip today with the kids, everyone was tired. It was the magic tired hour of 4:00pm. Both of the younger boys came to me at the same time and said, "Rub my hair." They crawled on my lap, snuggled in, and I rubbed their hair. We often take a nap in the summer. Naps are great. I highly recommend taking a nap.

Also for peace, I like to kick back with good movies. One of my favorites is Sleepless in Seattle. I just love the music, it is so good. The movie is a little more emotional now, since it involves finding love again after losing a spouse, but it is still fun for me. I love that they describe love as "magic" because it really is. Love is a magical thing. 

Another scripture I read in the temple was Luke 12:7: 

"But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered."

For some reason that was extremely comforting to me; I have a lot of hair. 

God knows me personally, and He loves me. He wants me to be at peace. He wants me to seek after Him. 

God loves you too. :) 

Peace, my friends.