The Defeating Power of Comparison

Comparing yourself to others can be very defeating. I was reminded of this just yesterday, while I was out for a run. It was not a lesson I was planning on having brought to the forefront of my mind, but there are lessons all around us, if we pay attention and learn from them.

I have been working really hard on my running. I run, and run, and run some more. I love it, and I hate it. I love it because it infuses me with power and strength, and I hate it because it is hard and challenging. I do it because it is not only good for me, but it makes me good; because I have more energy and life to provide for those around me, when I do something healthy for myself. I started running when I was 17. I have had times when I have been a less diligent runner, such as pregnancy, but it has been an activity woven throughout my life since that time. The more devotion and attention I give to my running efforts, the more joy I feel in my life.

Running makes me feel free, like I can fly -- physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I have recently kicked up my efforts to run faster and farther. I had been getting lazy on my 4-5 mile daily runs, and I would just kind of jog along without pushing myself harder than my pleasant, safe, comfort zone. I had been dawdling in that 10+ minute mile zone of running, and simply enjoying the scenery along the way, without putting in a hearty effort to progress. Now that I have my fancy little watch that tells me how fast (or slow) I am going, I feel driven to race that darn clock. I have never, ever, done this before. I have always just run for fun, or for my spirit -- never to improve or beat my time, etc. This is all new for me. It is also empowering to give it all you've got, and see improvement.

I have a new love/hate relationship with this time/distance tracker.

I have made a new goal to go faster and longer for my runs. I plan to run 8-10 miles a day, give or take a few healing runs along the way.  I began this journey on Monday. I ran 10 miles on Monday, 8 on Tuesday, and 8 again today. I also ran faster than normal, and kept upping my pace to see better numbers. It was awful and exciting at the same time. My body does not want to push itself, but my spirit wants to conquer, and so sometimes I have tell my body to get out of the way. Sometimes my spirit has to simply drag my body along for the ride. Sometime when my body and spirit unite, I feel like I could conquer the world.

Yesterday, I was out running at a beautiful pace for myself. I felt amazing, like a champ. I was thinking positive thoughts and feeling surges of excitement imagining how good my goals will be for me. I felt really awesome. And then, another runner crept up behind me. I could hear her coming, the light pounding of running shoes were quickly catching up to me. She came to my side, and then she sprinted out ahead of me. She was tall, thin, and perfectly tanned from head to toe. I knew that, because most of her body was exposed for the world to see. She was running like a light-footed gazelle; graceful and mesmerizing to watch. She quickly bolted on ahead of me, and flew off like lightning. I could see her for a while, until she pushed forward with her long stride, and she disappeared out of my sight.

Suddenly, something strange happened to me. My eyes went a little blurry, and my stride weakened along with my heart. As I viewed this living work of flawless running art, I compared my less perfect self to her perfection. My heart dropped and I felt defeated. My feet started to forget how to move, and I felt like I was going to trip and fall. My breathing felt heavy, and my positive thinking fluttered away replaced by self-doubt. I went from feeling totally awesome, to feeling like my spirit had been crushed, all in one quick moment of unexpected comparison. It was lame. 

As I continued jogging sluggishly, I realized the lesson I was being taught:

Comparison is toxic. 

I went from feeling awesome to feeling awful, in one quick flick of my mind.

And I made it happen, not her.

Sure, she was a running rockstar and showing the road who was boss, but so was I. All I saw was the physical evidence of her superior running, I knew nothing of what lay underneath her appearance of perfection. I did not know her battles, her struggles, her fears, what she was conquering, or overcoming. We may have been at different places physically as far as running was concerned, but we were both doing the same thing...

We were both running our guts out with all of our hearts.

In my moment of weakness, I had forgotten that the road was big enough for both of us.

It took me a minute to regroup, and pull my mental and physical self back in order after being shaken.  I had to push the thoughts of comparison out of my mind, so I could continue my battle with full gusto, and not in a stupor of pathetic defeat. Once I realized what had happened to me, I realized how ridiculous it was that I allowed it to happen.

I should never allow the quickness of someone else's feet, to cause my own feet to stumble and fall.

As we compare ourselves to others, it only causes damage and destruction. I felt a very real and powerful physical effect on my body, as it slowed down and began to retreat in defeat. This same thing happens to our hearts, if we are continuously comparing ourselves to those around us.

Do not live in such a state of defeat by comparing yourself to others. It does absolutely no good, and is very destructive to your happiness.

We are here to become the best we can be, and your very best is good enough for God. The defeating power of comparison is strong, but the power of knowing who you are, and claiming your eternal self-worth is far more powerful and will allow you to shine, thrive, and have joy.

We are all meant to be awesome! 

There is room in this world for all of our awesomeness to shine together.