Flying By

I just can't... I can't believe that it is July! We only have 4 more months until I start to decorate for the Christmas season. (Yes, I start decorating in November, so we can enjoy it longer. Click HERE.) I am just not able to tolerate the speed at which life is zooming by. With my children growing so fast, and becoming young adults, I find myself with a spinning head and heart. I am not ready for the stage of letting them go. And yet, that is where I sit, on the brink of having to let them leave the nest and fly. 

Over the next few years, I will spend my time helping Sammi prepare to go out into the big world. Daniel follows close behind her. William and Henry still have some time, thank goodness. It is such a strange time of life for me, and managing these times without Charles makes for some interesting emotions. I do not like the thought of letting more family members go. When you lose a family member to death, I think you cling a little closer to the ones you love: because you know the value of that precious time together. 

Kermit the Frog once said, "Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it." This is true, but I do not like to part from people I love. Of course, with technology and all of the modern conveniences of the day, staying in touch is easier. But that is not the same as having the family all under one roof. At this point, I do not have that future excitement of exploring the world with my husband, just the two of us, going on missions, and being together. Nope. I get to look forward to... being alone. 

That's hard to swallow sometimes. 

Forgive me if I cling to my children, but they are my everything. Charles used to come first for me, but now my children come first. It is a strange shift in how we do things as a family. There is a real beauty in the father/mother/children dynamic that creates greater joy in family life. I miss that dynamic. I am forgetting how to even do that dynamic, it has been so long. 

I do have a hope of not being alone for the rest of my life: but at this point, it is only a hope, not a reality. I cling to that hope of finding someone to spend the rest of my life with. I try not to worry about it too much, but I do try and keep hope alive in that area. I cannot ignore the desire to love completely, otherwise, I think I might shrivel up and die. Do you know how hard it is to be in cold storage in the romance area? Just saying... ugh. Especially for someone like me, who, I admit, I am very romantically inclined... I love being in love. I do feel so empty without it. I try not to feel empty, but I can't seem to fill that void with anything else. 

Enough of that... I've had some strange feelings lately. Feelings ebb and flow, and I just have to go with it. Writing stuff down does help me to a least understand where I am at. I assume if you are reading this, you are at least a little bit curious to know about my weird feelings. :) 

Moving on... Here are some pictures of life. 

William has been swimming with friends. He really enjoys it. 

 Watermelon is required on hot summer days. And it is hot!

This song came on while I was on my way home from the store... yes, I go to the store at 10:14 at night. I loved the lyrics to the song...

When skies are cloudy and gray
They're only gray for a day
So wrap your troubles in dreams
And dream your troubles away

Until that sunshine peeps through
There's only one thing to do
Just wrap your troubles in dreams
And dream all your troubles away

Your castles may tumble, that's fate after all
Life's really funny that way
No use to grumble, smile as they fall
Weren't you king for a day?

Just remember that sunshine
Always follows the rain
So wrap your troubles in dreams
And dream your troubles away

I've spent some time watching the latest Hallmark movies. I actually do not watch a lot of movies, but Hallmark I can handle, most of the time. I just love that they are clean, sappy, and predictable. Most of them are really lighthearted, but some can dig in a little too close to home. I watched one the other night called, "The Color of Rain," and that was pretty hard for me. It was about a widow and a widower falling in love. It was sweet, but not an easy watch like some of the other movies. I spent a good portion of my night crying in my bed. But it was good, I needed a good cry.

I just love the simplicity and purity of most of the Hallmark stories. Sometimes I like to lay on my couch, snuggled with an oversized bear, and I just soak in the love story and romance. I kind of need to let those love-feelings in from time-to-time, because sometimes I start to feel hardened in that area, like I am not sure if I can even remember how to love someone? It has been so long, I fear I have no idea how to really love! That may sound crazy, but it's the truth!

 This Hallmark movie was called, "A Country Wedding." It was pretty cute. Sammi watched it with me.

 We saw cute little baby quails while we were driving.

Sammi decided she was ready to go and receive her Patriarchal blessing. (For more information on Patriarchal blessings click: HERE.) It was a very sacred experience to be able to go with Sammi and discover more about who she is, as a daughter of her Heavenly Father.

While we sat with the Patriarch in his home, we just had the sweetest experience. As we talked, we discovered that he had lost his first wife, and so we had a very spiritual conversation about losing a loved one. We all shed tears together.

During Sammi's blessing, I felt the Spirit in a very powerful way. It was such a beautiful reminder of who Sammi really is, and that she is a beloved daughter of God, not just my daughter. We are meant to kept these things sacred, and so I will not share anything here, but I will say that Heavenly Father knows who Sammi is personally. And He loves her. And so do I! And so does Charles!

This was the song that played right before arriving at the Patriarch's house. Hilary weeks... she is always there at the right moment. 

I love my Sammi Sunshine. I have needed her so much in my life. I love all of my children, so much, and I have needed all of them. I know experts say you should not be friends with your kids, or rely on your children too much for emotional support, etc. But for my children, they have received counsel in blessing that have said otherwise. The reality is, our family dynamic is different, and so we have to do life a little differently. For example, Daniel was given a blessing that said he should step up and fill the role as man of the house. He is supposed to be a support to his mother, and he was blessed that his shoulders would be broad enough to carry the extra load. (Have you seen Daniel's shoulders?) Sammi was given some pretty special and specific counsel in her Patriarchal blessing on how to treat our relationship as mother and daughter, and it kind of took my breath away. I felt so much love for Sammi, and also from our Heavenly Father, that he really does know us, and the special relationship we have.

Of course, I will always be Sammi's mother, but so often she is the one with the wise counsel beyond her years. We can both be bonkers, make no mistake. Sometimes I guide her in her choices, but sometimes she has to do the same for me... and she does, somehow, she really does. What is really crazy about our relationship... we often talk about boys. (And not just boys for Sammi, but for me too!) And in a few weeks, Sammi can start dating... and well, whenever I get up the guts... I could too! We often talk about how wrong that reality is. The dating world... eek! Someone please help me! 

OK, so this is a big jump in topics... let's talk about warts. (I know, gross.) William had a huge wart on his toe. I have treated warts on another child with vinegar before, with success, but this time I wanted to try something else. (Vinegar works, but it STINKS.) This time, I used fresh lemon juice: juice squeezed from raw lemons. I would apply the lemon juice with a Q-tip, soaking it thoroughly, and then I would soak the pad of a bandaid with the lemon, keeping it on day and night, and replacing fresh juice at least twice a day, more if it got wet. The idea is to keep the wart area in an acidic environment to kill the growth. It only took a few weeks, and the wart turned black and then peeled right off. It was pretty sweet! There is no trace of the wart. I am no doctor, but I would say it is worth a try, because it worked for us! (I am not making any money by promoting lemons.)

 Oh man, it is getting hot. Too hot. It always gets too hot, every year. We have been running, but wow, it is not the best weather for it.

 We always stay hydrated.

 Henry likes to carry a pinwheel when we run, it makes it more exciting.

 We found a wasp nest on our grill. So nasty!

 We had fireworks out in the culdesac.

 The neighbors gathered for the show.

 We did it on the 3rd of July, so it was not so late at night.

 The kids loved it.

 There were some pretty good ones!

 Henry was excited by the show.

 Lots of fun.

 Woo!

 Sammi doing some magic.

 This is how Henry landed after the show.

I went on a beautiful jog on the 4th. Everyone was out on bikes. I think bikes were a better plan than running in that weather.

I got one of these big cookies from Albertsons. I had a piece, but discovered it was SO rich. I do not remember them being so sugar-bombed back in the day, but I think I am getting older, and losing my ability to handle the really intense stuff.

Hanging out at the Harlins on the 4th.

 Tyson made the yummy BBQ chicken.

Rachelle made my favorite coconut rice.

 Good food and friends.

 The girls spent their time with chalk creating beautiful artwork.

 Jumping!

I love having the American flag in my yard. Someone was sweet enough to donate it as a service to our family, through the Scouting program. I really am grateful, I really do love it! Thank you!

 Playing with trucks.

 Gathering for sparklers.

 And smoke bombs.

 Ahhh... the beauty of chalk.

 Good times.

 Ohana means Family. I love my family, and my friends that are family!

Time has got to stop flying by!!!!