My First Mid-Singles Event

I went to my first mid-singles activity. This time it was from ages 31-45. The last singles activity I attended had no end to the age limit, and it was a strange night. The one I went to a few weeks ago, was meant to be for people more in my age-bracket. (I am 36.)  

The activity was simply attending the temple. I thought it would be a safe way to go and get a feel for who is out there, and I figured that at least I would get to go and be uplifted. On the other hand, it was not the best place to meet people, or mingle. But really, I was not up for that yet. I am trying to open my heart, and see if I am ready to start dating.

I am not going to say much, but I will say that the prospects were not too grand. It was a small group, and of course the women horribly outnumbered the men, as per usual for some reason? I did not have a chance to go to some of the other activities planned for the singles conference that weekend, my children had too much going on, and they are my priority. But I do think going to other activities would be helpful. Maybe more people actually go to the firesides and dances, I dunno.

It is not fair for me to judge all events by the one I attended. I am sure there are more fish in the sea, and that there is fun to be had at mid-singles events. However, it is so not my style. Even back in the day, when I was young, I did not attend a singles ward. I went to the dances, activities, and Institute (up in Alaska), but I went to church in a family ward, while attending college.

I actually met Charles at an Institute class, so there is something about gathering in groups, it brings people together. Group dating, and large activities are great when you are just wanting to be young and social, but now I would much prefer one-on-one time. I am not looking for a party scene; I am looking for a new male best friend. I still hold out for a miracle that another way will be provided, and a charming man will be placed in my path as I go about normal life, without having to spend too much time at such activities. I will keep hoping and dreaming for that, but I know I have to do my part as well.

Even though it is not my thing, I figure I will spend more time attending singles activities in the summer. There will just be more time, and less flurry of activities. I think I am ready to date now -- it has been more than 2 years since Charles passed away. I doubt I will ever feel totally ready, or like I have arrived at some place of "perfection" before I allow myself to be with someone else: that just doesn't happen. There is always something to hold me back from feeling ready to go for it. I am at a place now where I realize, I am probably as ready now, as I ever will be.

I know that it is very much about timing. I know that I will meet the right person, at the right time, if I am patient. But I also have to make myself available by getting out there. I have a hope for things to work out, for pieces to fall into place, and that there is someone out there who is being prepared for me, and that I have been preparing for this new person too.

Oh, and just so you know, I do not have a specific list of what I am looking for in a man. Oh wait, maybe I do.... Do you want to see it? You do? Well, it's your lucky day! I wrote this list in my journal, back in July of 2015. It is just a general list, I wrote it while I was trying to figure out what is really important to me in a companion. I'll be honest, there are very few things I would be willing to change on this list. I know my standards are high; but high standards are far better than low/no standards.

Qualities in the Man I Hope to Find

He must love God above all else (even above me)
Kind
Loving
Wise
Righteous Priesthood Holder
Temple Recommend
Good Father
Strong
Loves me as I am
Helps me become a better person
Good provider
Knows how to have fun
Sense of Humor
Firm in the gospel/Unwavering Testimony
Loves to exercise
Thoughtful
Loves to talk deeply/discuss deep topics
Nice calming eyes
Friendly with others
Service oriented

Wasn't that a thrilling peek into my journal?

I sure hope there is a man out there who feels up to the challenge of loving me. My heart loves easily, and so I have purposefully waited to put myself out there, for fear of falling for the wrong person, at the wrong time. I have grown in strength, and patience, and I feel I know my heart better now -- at least I hope I do! I am sure I will be incredibly guarded, but I am in a place now where I am very much open to new love and experiences.

Oh, and just so you know, I share a lot on my blog, but when I actually do start dating: the blog will be the last to know!