Dating Advice From My Dad

My Dad likes to share advice. He has a lot of experience and wisdom, from his MANY years on earth. (He, he. Just kidding dad, you are not THAT old.) You see, I may be a fiercely independent, 38 year old woman, with four children, but my dad is still concerned for my welfare, and he wants me to be happy. So, he wrote a list. He wrote a list for me to take, on my first date as a widow. He wrote a list to see if the guy could "measure-up" to his expectations. 

Yes, that is how much my dad loves me. 

My family was very excited for me to go on my first date. I was receiving numerous texts and questions, particularly from my female parent. (Love you, Mom.) My dad (one of my very, very, excited family members), wanted to make sure I had my head on straight, before I ventured out into uncharted territory. He composed the list of qualities that I should look for in a man, and he sent it to me to analyze, internalize, and perhaps utilize. 

The list was his way of showing, just how much he cares. My dad was on the other side of the country at the time, and so he could not interview my date personally. (Thank goodness!) 

I love my dad. He is extraordinary. As a sometimes defiant daughter, I do not always listen to his advice, even if it is good advice. I feel it is my daughterly (is that a word?) responsibility, to pretend like I know what I am doing, without the need for input from my parents. Because that makes a lot of sense, right? I mean, sometimes, my parents know things. They have been around the block (and back) a few times. Maybe I should willingly listen to their advice, at least occasionally? Huh. I'll think on that. 

(Let it be known that I am super-close with my parents, even when they are far away. I spend many hours talking with them, and spilling my guts out to them, and listening to their wisdom. I am so grateful for my good and loving parents. I generally do listen to their advice, but I prefer a bit of resistance first, just for fun.)  

In the case of this dating list, I am in full agreement with my dad. 

My dad gets it, you know?  He understands love. He understands romance. He is a romantic deep down in his soul, and his romantic soul pours out into his actions. If there is one thing I know, it is that my dad loves my mother, more than anything. (Of course God comes first, and then my mom. And then me, right dad? No, not really me. Just kidding about that. But I know I am up there on that list, as a very high priority.) 

My dad has continuously, and faithfully, shown his love for my mother over the years, and it has been a blessing to observe. It has been a beautiful thing to be one of the results of their combined love. (Wait. That sounds kinda gross? Just ignore that last line.) 

Anyway, enough from me... my dad is awesome. Let's hear from him. 

Here is the letter, from my dad, with the list of qualities a man should possess. It is good advice for all who consider dating. The list can apply to a woman as well, and should apply to me as a woman worth dating. It looks like I have some work to do! 

Hi, Mari,

Below is a list of attributes and characteristics that a person of interest might display.  Take it on your date and if the conversation lags (which for you would be about 2.3 seconds), use it as a conversation piece; if he has a sense of humor, he might even enjoy looking at it.

1. Temple Recommend Holder
2. Sense of humor
3. Adventurous and optimistic
4. Deep engrained memories of the past (particularly the good things), but looks to the future with great optimism
5. Sense of humor
6. Puts others’ welfare ahead of own comfort; high degree of selflessness
7. Active, energetic and not lazy
8. Plays hard and works hard (or works smart)
9. Sense of humor
10. Responsible and dependable
11. Balances life fairly well between family, work, play, and church
12. Mental stability, needing minimal therapy
13. Sense of humor
14. Smiles
15. Laughs
16. Enjoys conversation, perhaps with some give and take
17. Sense of humor
18. At least five feet tall
19. Enjoys life in all of its aspects
20. Enjoys music and the arts (including movies)
21. Knows how to drive
22. Courteous and kind (and all the rest of the Scout stuff)
23. Sense of humor
24. Tolerates and maybe even embraces your family
25. Kisses well or can be taught how to
26. Supports my talents and valuable things in my life
27. Loves children  (this should have been higher up the list)
28. Sense of humor
29. Self-confident
30. Adores me
31. Likes to eat, but not to excess
32. And finally, sense of humor

Love, Dad