Day By Day

The morning comes, and brings a new day. Sometimes the new day brings sunshine, and sometimes the new day brings storms. No matter the weather, each new day is full of moments. Not all moments are good, and not all moments are bad. Sometimes the moments are just moments. But all of the days, and moments, are life. And life is good, even when it is bad. 

Life is beautiful, even when it is beastly. 

My family gathers together for Family Home Evening. I keep my lessons and activities ridiculously simple, and they are usually last minute. The main point of gathering together as a family, is to spend time talking and learning about the gospel, in the loving environment of the home. The beautiful thing about teaching and talking about the gospel at home, is that everyone feels safe discussing their gospel feelings and ideas; even if their thoughts might be a little off-topic, or "out there." We can talk deeply about struggles and troubles, and gospel questions, and it is all safe. 

Nothing is off-limits. 

I love that. 

We have discussed all kinds of topics during FHE. Sometimes the topics are light and fluffy, and sometimes they are a little more heavy, like talking about pornography. We talk about the ramifications of pornography all of the time. (Not just during FHE.) It is not if, but when, it will be placed in front of everyone in our family (not just the boys), because it is everywhere. We all talk about it openly and casually (but seriously) together. And, yes, my children have come across pornography in different ways, including students trying to share it at school. 

So, the discussion becomes, well, then what? 

We have had many good discussions about such things. And I will never stop talking about it with my family. My children often say they are grateful they can talk about that kind of stuff with me, because they want to know. They want to be educated, they want information, and not the kind they will get from friends. 

I cannot protect them completely, but I can prepare them competently. 

I actually love having these kind of discussions with my children, and we have had them since they were young, so it does not feel awkward. We all talk openly about it together, we share our experiences, so it feels like we are a team. My hope is that, as we talk about the challenging things in life -- openly together -- that my family will always feel comfortable talking, and sharing, even when we make mistakes. 

I specifically love discussing these kind of things as a family, at home; because how many people really feel totally safe asking their hard and deep questions in church? The home is really the greatest place for gospel learning. I am grateful to have children who teach me about the gospel, every day of my life. Being a mother is certainly a learning experience, am I right? 

Well, that came out of nowhere? Well, maybe not nowhere, the topic was brought up in Relief Society today, and so the seed was planted in my mind. So, there you have it. 

Anyway, what I was going to write about, was a lesson we learned during our FHE on Monday night. I had the kids take out a piece of paper and some coloring pens, and I read them a story from The Book of Mormon. I read in Alma 37: 35-47. I just asked them to draw whatever came to their mind, as I was reading the verses. And then we discussed what they drew. 

One thing that stood out to me, was how God guides us. The Word of God (the scriptures) was compared to the Liahona (a compass) that worked based on faith. The Liahona spindles worked according to their faith, day by day. It was not month by month, or year by year, it was daily. The point is, miracles are worked by God. And our daily faithfulness, and our daily scripture study, can be that compass that guides our path in life. If we are slothful in our study, our path might become unclear, as our "spindles" cease to point the way to go. If we rely on the scripture as our compass, we will be lead -- day by day -- even in the small things in our lives. 

I know I certainly need guidance in my life, and I need to know which way I should go, and what paths I need to take. I rely on the scriptures, as the compass for my life. There is great power that comes from the scriptures. It is God's Power, it is His Light. And I need that in my life! Especially now, as I guide my family, on my own. 

I love gathering together as a family with these cuties.  

 My herbal tea message was pretty spot on.

 Henry drew family and hearts for love.

 Sammi said she wished we would read and draw every night.

 William focusing on his artwork.

 Daniel enjoys drawing too. Oh man, I just love my family.

Here is Henry playing hopscotch after dropping him off at school. I love to watch him jump around. Sometimes he seems so big, and sometimes he seems so little.

 I love it when the sky is full of puffy white clouds.

I was waiting in the school parking lot, and the song "Clair De Lune" came on. The song was one of Charles' favorites, and it was played at his Life Celebration. I just sat and soaked in the sun, and allowed the song to caress my heart with deep feelings. It was a beautiful moment.

 Oh, how I love the Springtime. I feel almost giddy when I see flowers blooming!

 Hooray!

I took Sammi on a run with me. I had to drag her out the door, but then she loved every minute. Right, Sammi?

I love running with Sammi. She is one of my favorite people to run with. My level of energy, plus her level of energy, equals a magical Zen mode. Sammi just has this lovely calming influence. I think it is just one of her spiritual gifts, and I am grateful she has it! Being with Sammi is as easy as breathing.

While we were out, we came across an area of trees, filled with birds. We stopped just to listen. It was so peaceful to hear the sound of birds singing.

 Green grass!

I took William to the dentist. It was an interesting experience. William is my very straightforward child. He speaks his mind, no matter what, no matter where.

Now, I firmly believe that each child comes with a gift. Usually, it is a thing that stands out about them, that might even drive a mom crazy from time-to-time.

For example, Daniel is loud. He has always been loud. He even cried louder than all of my other babies. But now, as a singer, Daniel is loud in the right way... his loudness has a purpose, it is a gift.

I believe that William's gift might just be his tell-it-like-it-is ability. It is a good gift, in the right circumstances. But at the dentist, it was just comedy. Here are some of the things William said to the dental hygienist, while we were there:

"Just so you know, I am not really fond of dentists."

"An X-Ray? I'd rather not do that. But, OK."

"I am supposed to brush the roof of my mouth? Mom, you never taught me that?!"

"Can I keep these sunglasses?" William asked.
"Sorry, but, no." The hygienist said.
"I'll trade you my pair." William responded.
(William's sunglasses are broken.)

"I am not really motivated to brush my teeth." William said.
"So, gingivitis and gum disease don't motivate you?" The dental hygienist asked.
"No, not really." William said confidently.

One day, I just know he will do great things, with his unique gift of being straightforward. (Just so you know, he looked over my shoulder while I typed this, and he approved.)

Sammi found my marathon shirt and wore it on a run. "Pain You Enjoy?" Ummm... I am still not sure if I "enjoyed" running the marathon. The pain part, yeah, that is accurate.

 Just a random singing moment. They happen daily. And often.

We went out to find the bagpipes on St. Patrick's day. I love the sound of bagpipes. I am Scottish on both sides of my family. A dream of mine is to go to Scotland, with a camera in hand.  Maybe the man of my dreams is there, wearing a kilt. 

 Ahhh, the sound of the trumpet. There are two trumpet players in my home. Need I say more?

Henry loves it when anyone stops and focuses just on him. (It is not easy being the smallest.) Sammi was playing a game with him, and he loved it. I love to hear him giggle.

So, sometimes I am hard on myself. When I look back on my relationship and marriage with Charles, sometimes my shortcomings and mistakes stand out, rather than all the really fantastic stuff. The love we shared, can be shadowed by moments when I feel like a pile of weakness and imperfections. I am a flawed human being. I am well aware of my flaws, and though I try to fix them (if they can be fixed), or fight against them, I can certainly feel overwhelmed by my flaws. I was feeling a little cruddy about myself the other day -- wondering if I will ever find someone else to love -- and for some reason, I decided to pull out Charles' journal. Not all of his journal entries sing praises to my name. In fact, sometimes he mentions my weaknesses. (Ouch.) But I came across a few entries, which I have read before. I needed them right now...

These kind of journal entries remind me of our deep love for each other. I could have written similar words about him.

Just a little jam session. Did I mention my house is full of music? 

 I love to go running right before it gets dark. It is just such a pleasant time to be outside.

It is nice now, but when spring comes, that is when the earth will be alive with flowers and the smell of dirt. Oh man, I love the smell of dirt! 

I love to run at night. I just love to be out in the dark. I love to take drives at night too. It just feels more romantic, even if I am by myself.

 It poured rain, and then I happened upon a rainbow.

I love Peanut M&M's. But I am not so sure they love me back. The struggle is real. 

I also love running and feeling alive. I am alive, so I might as well enjoy it, right?

Day by day...