Are You My Daddy?

Henry was very young when Charles died. He was just days away from being two years old. Henry loved his daddy, he especially loved to snuggle with him, and spend time with him in the hallway class at church. Charles was such a good and loving daddy, he made a lasting impression on Henry, I am sure. But he was so young, and it is hard to tell if he really remembers him. 

What Henry does not know is that his daddy is gone, and not coming back. He is too young to even understand any of that. Really young children live in the moment, without worrying too much about the future. Henry just bounces around from day to day unaware that he is being raised by a widowed mother. That moment-to-moment mentality is a blessing. He does not currently dwell on the absence of his father. But one day he will grow up, and he will wonder where daddy went. 

Henry can identify Charles in a picture, but it seems more like how we teach children to identify Jesus by continuously pointing him out. There are pictures of both Jesus and Charles in his room and throughout the house, and I take the opportunity to teach him who they both are. Henry is going to have to grow up and have faith that Jesus once walked the Earth, that he stills lives, and watches over him. He is also going to need to have faith that Charles once walked the earth, he still lives, and watches over him. I am very interested in his questions as he grows older and starts understanding more. I pray I will know what to say when it comes time. I still have some time, but he is growing quickly. 

Lately, Henry seems to be trying to figure out who his daddy is. It reminds me of the story of the little bird who hatched from the nest, while mother was away, and he went on a journey to find her. "Are you my mother?" the little bird would ask a variety of animals, and objects. The little bird really wanted to find her, but he did not know what she looked like. Every now and again, when we are at church and other places, Henry will see someone who maybe reminds him of Charles, and he will call them daddy. It does not happen all the time, but once and awhile, it just seems like he is trying to figure it out. All Henry has to go on is a few pictures and some video, but that is not much for a child.   

I know it will just get more interesting with time. 

Most recently he has started referring to a close friend as daddy. Tyson has been an adopted father to all my children, and Henry is no exception. He is the dad to Henry's little friend, Kellen, and they spend a lot of time playing, wrestling, and having fun. It has been cute lately because he has started going to Tyson more, and if Kellen is sitting with his daddy, Henry wants to be snuggled in too. Henry has never called him daddy before that I recall, but he started to, and it made me smile. It is not sad for me at all when he identifies other men as daddy, I think it is adorable. 

Henry may not have a father in the home, but we are surrounded by stellar men who are fantastic examples of fatherhood to him, and my other children. It has made all the difference in how well my children have adjusted. Children want, and need, that fatherly influence in their lives. I am so grateful for good men. There are many, many, good men. Heaven bless them all. 

Henry may, or may not, eventually grow up with a father living in our home -- only time will tell. (That is another blog, for another day.) He may spend some time searching for his daddy, like the little bird, he will want to know where he comes from. The little bird eventually found his mother, and was happy as can be. And one day, the end of Henry's journey will find him happily reunited with his beloved father. 

He will stand before Charles and say, "Are you my daddy?" 

Charles will reply, "Yes, Henry. I am your daddy, and I will love you forever."