Are You a Good Mom?

My friend sent me this video, and it got me thinking...

If you had to describe yourself as a mother, what would you say? Do your insecurities come flying to the surface? Do you find yourself lacking, not quite measuring-up? Do you feel guilty for all the things you think you do not do? Do you second-guess your choices, and worry you are doing it all wrong? 

If so, you are totally normal! 

But why? Why do we, as mothers, do this? When Mother's Day rolls around each year, why does the guilt and doubt come oozing to the surface? 

I think deep down we know we ARE good mothers. But for some reason, we do not allow ourselves to be OK with being a mother in our own way. As women, we tend to compare ourselves to others -- holding up the best of another, and measuring it against our very worst. When you do that, you ALWAYS come up lacking. There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to motherhood. Lucky for us, God made us each unique! 

I think mothers have always been hard on themselves. But I also think that social media can make mothering-comparison a million times more in-your-face, all the time. You can take a quick peek into a digital life, where they have captured the best of everything -- perhaps photo-shopping images, and removing blemishes -- so you have a distorted view of their reality. It used to be you would just see people at church on Sunday, or during weekly gatherings -- but now you can see people all the time, and you can view and critique every single detail of their edited-to-perfection life! 

For example, there is a blog I view every now-and-again, and the family on this blog seems to have everything together all the time. Even when the author claims she doesn't have it all together, you do not believe her because she has an amazing camera that captures angelic light perfectly, and she can make everything -- from daisies to dirty diapers -- look like a little piece of Heaven. The entire family is attractive. The children are all gifted and kind. They have chore charts, financial plans, trips to foreign countries to teach those in need. They have a huge and beautifully decorated home, they have nice clothing, perfect teeth, and they workout everyday. If I were being totally honest, I would have to say viewing this family leaves me with a sinking feeling of inadequacy. As I scroll through the posts of perfection, I am left with a feeling that I will never be able to reach that high, and achieve the level of glorious living that they have risen to. They are a wonderful family, don't get me wrong -- they have done so much good in the world, truly. But if I stare too hard at her perfect pictures, and compare myself to her Mother-of-the-Year status -- I ALWAYS come up short. 

And I always will, if I continue to compare . . . nasty, nasty, comparing. 

I will never have that life. 

I am not Barbie-Mom . . . I am me. I am who God made me to be. I am special. I am unique. And I can be the best mother in my own way. 

As mothers, we are all different. And that is a beautiful thing. We get to take our individual and unique talents and gifts, and use them to mother the way we want to. You can nurture and raise your children how you see fit. And the whole world can disagree with you, and it does not matter -- because you are the one calling the shots. You are the CEO of the home. And your family, your company, is unique and different from all others. You get to mother with your own flare and style. You are designing your own brand of beautiful people to send out into the world. 

So rather than feeling like we are not good enough, or that we are not keeping up with Barbie-Mom, and Ken-Doll dad -- we need to be excited about doing it our own way, with our own Family flare. 

There is one thing I do have in common with Mrs. Super-mom, and I think it is something that all mothers -- all good mothers -- have in common. Good mothers love their children. Whether they are dressed in Gap clothing, or homemade iron-on shirts -- it is love that really matters. It is love that makes wonderful mothers, and fabulous children. 

I love my children. 

And when it comes down to it, that is EVERYTHING. 

So as you are going about your day doing your divine motherly tasks, remember to OWN it -- own being a good mother. When it comes down to our children they just want us to love them. Everything else is mere details. 

I am the mother of the van Ormer Family. I love my children. And I am doing it my way! 

And that makes me a super-mom, too!