Because of Him, Charles Lives -- And So Do I.

At 4:12pm, tomorrow, it will be 2 weeks since Charles left this world for another. This is the longest I have ever been apart from him. I think the longest before now was maybe 4 days? The days have gone by so quickly! I don't want to wish precious life away, but I am grateful it is going by fast now. I am a half of a whole, I feel incomplete without my eternal companion walking beside me. Even though I still feel him near me, it is not the same.

Each day I wake-up, and the first thought that pops into my head is, "Today is another day closer to being with Charles again." And then, with that thought in mind, I do what needs to be done. (Which has been a lot, as of late.)

Life now seems like a dream, and it feels like if I do everything right in this dream, then I can be with my love again. In reality, it is the truth -- if I do what's right, then I can be with my precious Charles again! Hooray! So I had better be good, right? I am guessing when you pass from this world, life does feel like a dream, a blink of the eye, a very quick moment in the span of forever. Even if you live 100 years, it is still nothing compared to eternity.

Somehow, experiencing death has made me feel more alive. Life feels more valuable, and more precious than ever before.  I feel more keenly that each moment needs to be cherished, and enjoyed. Hugs need to be tighter, smiles need to be bigger, love needs to be more freely given.

As I watched this video about Jesus, the part that stood out to me was how He can take away the sting of death. Because of Him, there are no endings. Do you know how much this means to me now?

Just 2 weeks ago, everything I believed in, hoped in, had faith in, lived for, testified of -- was done spiritually. Yes, I have always believed, I have always known that God lives, and that Jesus is the Christ. It has always been deeply embedded inside of me, to my very core. But now, it is even deeper than that. Before, there was a buffer between me, and the fire of my faith. I was strongly anchored in theory, but now, the knowledge I have of God the Father, and His son, my Savior, Jesus Christ -- is everything to me. My faith in The Plan of Salvation is no longer just a spiritual reality for me, it is a physical reality. My faith and knowledge of truth is tangible -- I can reach out and touch it. The person I love the most in this world, is gone from this world, I saw him leave this world, and I know he is with Jesus. And when I say I know it, I mean I KNOW it! My testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been solidified with fire.

All the things I have learned, and preached, and taught, and lived my whole life for -- has smacked me right in the face, to test my faith, and my fortitude.

Families can be Together Forever… is that just a nice saying on a plaque? Is it just a fun primary song? Or an inspiring Young Women's lesson?

Do I believe? Do I have faith? Do I know?

Yes. I. Do.

My knowledge burns inside my heart. It burns so violently, it kind of hurts.

I know families can be together forever!

I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and it is everything. 

If you are having doubts, or are feeling wishy-washy in your faith, then STOP IT! Clean up your act, and do what needs to be done to reconcile yourself with your Heavenly Father. Don't waste your time doubting, or living on the edge of believing, or sitting on the fence of faith. You never know how long you have on this earth…don't waste your life. Don't waste the precious gift that God has given you -- give yourself to Him. No really…I mean now.

The gospel found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints changed Charles' life completely. I have been reading his journals, and he constantly testifies of his love of the gospel, and how much it meant to him.

It changed his life, and it can change yours, too!

Give yourself to God. Happiness awaits!

I'm afraid the fire within me has been unleashed...