Charles' Testimony

Charles was a very diligent journal writer. It was not daily, but it was often. I have journals from the first day of his mission, to a few days before he died. It is such a blessing to have his words with me. I have a stack of his journals that I keep on my nightstand, I can pull them out whenever I want to hear his voice and learn from his thoughts and records. 

Reading his journals makes me a better person. I have the rare privilege of seeing inside the mind of a man -- luckily for me, he was a man of many words. If you are a man -- or if you know a man -- gently encourage them to write their life and thoughts down in some form. Women should, of course, do the same. Everyone should write in a journal, or on a blog, or find some other way to record life. Your life is of value. Your words will be a treasure to your family and others -- you never know who! 

I promise it is worth the time it takes. Just take 5-10 minutes a day, or a week, and scribble down some thoughts. It is amazing to watch yourself grow too! Even I am able to look over old blog posts and think, "Really? Was I that crazy?" Yes, yes I was. And I still am. And that is OK. 

Charles was a busy guy, working through undergrad and law school, and then running his own law firm -- but he took some time to write his testimony of the gospel down. His conviction is on almost every page of his many journals. I wanted to share parts of it here, so that he can still share his testimony, though he is no longer a mere mortal. I feel driven to share his words, so I will. 

This is from the year 2003... His testimony grew and changed over time, of course, but his words were a solid foundation for things to come... 

Just a brief reminder that Charles was 17 when he joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Before that he was a great rascal, but God came to his rescue, and changed his life forever. 

Charles' Testimony: 

I am taking this brief pause in my day to record some of my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I am not sure how my record keeping will be useful to any who may read it in the future. I have been commanded to keep a journal and so I do. 

My hope is that besides making my posterity aware of my weaknesses, especially in writing, the record of my life will be an example of how the Lord blesses those who try to keep the commandments. My children and my children's children will be able to read my words and recognize the pattern for themselves of faith preceding the miracle. 

I have been highly blessed of the Lord. I am about to finish a Math degree, my health has never been better, my family survives day to day with little income and no car. In addition the spirit of the Lord is with my family. Each day we are led and directed in the path we should travel. True we must choose for ourselves and work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, but I believe the truly wise would also choose to know the mind and will of the Almighty Father of Heaven and Earth concerning the many directions they should take. 

The Lord has led us this far. The true power of these records that I keep will be for my children to see where the Lord takes us from here. I have no doubt that the Lord will provide us, Mari and I, with many opportunities to serve Him in the future, for it is our true desire. And I know that Father wants and needs our help in accomplishing His purposes. 

My children will read these records and see the slow refining process of the Lord. He can take any man or woman who is willing to be obedient and make them into something great. 

My decision to follow Jesus Christ has been the greatest choice I have ever made. The eyes of my understanding have been opened. My deaf ears have been unstopped. I have been taken out of darkness and brought into the Light of God. It is marvelous to me that the Lord was aware of me even in my most imperfect state. 

Each time you are obedient to the commands of God and the promptings of the Holy Ghost your vision of things spiritual becomes more clear and more refined. Your desire to do evil fades until the evil one has no power over your heart or mind. The only sadness you feel is for sin, whether it be your own, or the sins of another. 

Fear fades away. There is nothing to fear when you know the Lord is on your side. To be in the care of the Savior is the safest place to be. 

If we suffer, it is only for our own benefit, and we will one day thank the Lord for our trials, which it may be hard to do in the midst of. Each challenge is a new opportunity to grow, to show who you are, and how deep your testimony runs. 

Will you follow the Lord Jesus Christ? 

There is so much weight on my shoulders, so many pressures... I am tempted with fear and anger, but I have faced these temptations before: they will not have me now. 

Strangely enough, I have come to enjoy this battle. I have learned that I have an incredible will to live. I could fight and will fight to the death. I will make myself right before the Lord. I will do His will to the best of my abilities. I love life. 

My strength comes in the battle, it comes in the fight. I will never have rest. Not in this life, or in the existence to come. I catch a better view of the role I will play in the Lord's work here on Earth. 

I have always had ambition. My ambitions have grown as my understanding of what I am capable of has grown. I never began to understand my abilities, or my worth very well until I had the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I now know that no matter how weak I am, with the Lord all things are possible. 

My life has never been filled with so many grand dreams, hopes, and visions as it has since I have joined the church. I grow more confident that the Lord will allow these things to come to pass as I do what is right. I have never been disappointed by the Lord. Sometimes I have my doubts, but in the end I am always able to see how the Lord has only been preparing me for the really wonderful things in life. 

I pray the fire of the living gospel never dies in my heart. I pray for the day when I might give service 24 hours a day to help build up the Church and Kingdom of God. 

- Charles