Charles' View on Motherhood

Charles believed in Motherhood. He loved and adored the idea of faithful and righteous mothers, magnifying their role as women. He was extremely supportive of my roles as a woman, and he did everything he could to make it so that he was the provider, and I was the nurturer in the home. He had an amazing understanding of the power, and need, for wholesome family life, he longed for it, he wanted it. He did a beautiful job as a husband and father, and I could not be more honored to be connected to this righteous man, forever. He was such a tremendous example to me, and he still is! 

I have been reading through his journals. Reading his journals can sometimes be an emotional roller-coaster ride for me. But I had to smile as I read his thoughts when I was pregnant with Sammi, and we were making the decision on whether or not I should continue working, or stay home with Sam. He wrote many pages about his extreme desire for me to stay home with our children, to love and nurture them. I was the one having a hard time making that choice, because I was worried about providing for the family in our poverty-stricken school days. I did not want to starve! 

But despite our lack of money, he was the one who practically begged me to stay home. His own words were, "I hope Mari makes the decision to stay at home. She may be able to go and make a little bit of money that we could probably find elsewhere, but we might be sacrificing spiritual security, and our happiness. It is still up to Mari, I am just worried that she is taking too long to decide." I loved reading this, it makes me giggle now. 

I have since grasped the vision of Motherhood that Charles seemed to understand in depth, way before me. He was wise beyond his years. I am so grateful I took his advice, and have been home with my babies from the beginning -- I have no regrets. Those of you who know me personally, know how strongly I feel about motherhood, and making a great effort to be home with the children, if possible. (I know it is not always possible!) But it was Charles who was instrumental in my feelings on the matter. He left it up to me, but strongly urged me to be home with the babies. I am so grateful we made sacrifices for me to be with the children. I am so grateful Charles was willing to do whatever it took to make it possible. 

Charles loved the role of Motherhood enough to protect it. He faced the harshness of the world, so I could safely create a Heaven in our home. Oh, how I love him for it! May he be Heaven blessed for his noble and heroic acts as a father. 

So, I thought I would piece together some of Charles' thoughts on Motherhood, to share on this Mother's day… they are for me, but you can see how he felt about Mothers, and their Eternal worth. 

A note to me, from Charles (Written back in 2003):

Mari, 

You have brought our children into the world, and you have done it in the prime of your life. Your act of giving birth was an act of love and sacrifice that brought you into the path of bodily harm, and possible death, and it has placed you on the level with Gods. "Greater love hath no man, than he would give up his (or her) life for another." (Badly paraphrased @ 4:30 am.) You have nothing you owe me, or need to prove to me at all. On the contrary, I have much I need to do to prove to you how much I love you. I consider your love for me a sacred and beautiful thing. You are a mighty daughter of God, who has a capacity for faithfulness and obedience that would put the greatest priesthood holder to shame.

I am trying to express to you some of my feelings, so that you can know how I feel about you, and so you can know how much power you have over me. I pray you comprehend what I am attempting to express to you. 

I begin to see with clearer vision each day, and I now better see the cause of womanhood, because of your superior example to me. I am proud of you Mari. You are going against everything that modern society says that a woman should do with her life. I need to tell you how brave and beautiful you are more often. I can tell you I won't let you walk through this world alone.

Love, Charles 

A journal entry from 2001:

I am so happy that Mari is staying home. I know it will be difficult, but I'm sure it will only be a short time. Mari and I are living by faith, we have faith in the word of the Lord from a living prophet on Earth. Less and less families are living in this way, even LDS families. If we let this standard slip, our children will not have a proper example to follow. I hope to be able to live every command of the Lord, and show my children the right way to live; it is possible, the Lord will help us, if we are obedient. 

Another journal entry from September 2001:

I want to say how much I love my wife, Mari. She does so much for our family. She is such a great example to me. I am going to make a real effort to watch her, and learn about her, and become more like her. She is good, and simple, and innocent. I love her. I hope that she does not become tired of me.

I can assure you, I never grew tired of Charles. My precious, precious, husband. 

Charles and Me, when I was pregnant with Sammi. 

Charles gave me the greatest gift of all ... Motherhood. 

Charles, my love, thanks for the sweet babies, and thank you for your help as I have been trying to be a good mother. I will do my best to be the kind of mother you would want me to be. I promise you, I will bring all of our children back to you, and we will be together forever. If I have to throw them all in a handcart, across Hell and high-water, and pull them to Heaven all by myself -- I will. 

You have left pieces of you behind, in our children. I am so grateful for that. They are the best of you, and me. They are our everything. Our circumstances have changed, but our family goal is still the same: No empty chairs at our family table in Heaven. You have left the children in my care, as you have other work to do now, but I will bring them all home. You can depend on me, as their Mother. I will not fail you. No empty chairs! (If you could continue whispering in their ears, and guiding them to God, that would really help, thanks!) 

Oh, Charles, thank you for my Motherhood. Thank you for loving me. You have given me everything. 

Thank you... forever.