One More Day of 34

I turn 35 on Monday. I am not quite sure how that happened? I guess I blinked! It is true that I do not feel any different then when I was 19. The reality is, my body has aged, but my spirit is eternal, so my insides are forever young! I will be forever young until I am 100, and yes, I plan to live that long!

I had dreams and plans for where I would be when I was 35. I certainly did not imagine my life as it is now. I had dreams of 12 children (I even have 12 small diamonds on my ring, representing each child), a farm house with some chickens, being settled somewhere comfortably, and enjoying a happy marriage with the love of my life. You know, nothing too crazy. :)

I never dreamed of being a young widow with 4 children... that was not my idea of a happy life, or fairytale ending. I mean, who writes that in their life plans? Who fantasizes about that at night? No one.

My life has not turned out as I had planned, that is for sure. But I also know that is the nature of life, and something I did not understand when I was dreamy-eyed, young, and innocent. Life is ever-changing, always in motion, and unpredictable. You can, and should, plan and dream -- but you also need to be flexible, as life can change in an instant, and throw all your well-laid plans out the window. Waking-up from a beautiful dream into reality is hard.

But even when plans are changed, there will always be room for new dreams and adventures. That is one of the beautiful things about life. Dreams continue to drive us on into the future. I am not without hope for good things to come. Sure my fairytale may seem broken for now, but it will still have a happy ending. It will, I know it. I will continue on with new dreams...

My future is as bright as my faith.

I have a hope for a bright and full future, because life is good even now. I don't know if it is my personality, or my natural disposition to take things as they come, but it has served me well, especially lately. I have learned so much about myself recently, and I find I am more steady-minded and peaceful than I thought I was, which is good, very good. Being frantic never does anyone any good in any situation. I am grateful for the peace that has been my companion through the chaos, it amazes me.

My new plan is simple, I plan to trust God. I know He will lead me, as I listen, into a joyful future. I have no idea what the next 35 years of my life will hold... how about I leave the worrying to Him, and I can just let go and trust. Sounds good to me.

Ahhhh... plans and dreams.

I may not be living the dream now, but I do live with hope, and who says that's not just as good, or better?

Hope is a powerful thing.

I am grateful for my 34 years on this earth, and I look forward to many, many, more!

I better make sure my faith is bright, so I can enjoy the light of the future.