Saying Yes to Forever

My mom asked me to write some thoughts for her to use at a youth temple fireside... 

I gently held his hand across the altar of the temple. I was surrounded by light, and loved ones. As I looked into his beautiful, soft, brown eyes, I felt my heart begin to pound with anticipation for our future. We were there at the temple, to make the most important commitment of our lives. We were young, and in love, and eager to start our journey of life together. Charles softly gripped my hand with warm reassurance, and we became companions for time and all eternity.

I was 19 years old, and I did not fathom the magnitude of the moment that I was participating in. I did not fully understand the sealing power that was bestowed upon us that day. But I knew with my young girl heart that I loved this man next to me, and I wanted to be with him throughout life, and learn and grow with him forever. I knew that temple marriage was the only way to make that dream a possibility. I knew that time was not enough... it had to be forever, with Charles.

14 years later, I gently held his hand across a cold hospital bed. He was on breathing machines, he had lost his heartbeat twice, and the doctor had declared him brain-dead. As I held his frigid hand, and starred at his lifeless body, I was overcome by my feelings of loss and sorrow. His once beautiful brown eyes were completely vacant of expression. His strong reassuring grip had turned weak and limp, and his hands were ice cold.

I was not ready to let this beautiful man leave me, alone. I was not ready to lose the father of my 4 children. I was not ready to become a widow at age 34. But he was gone. In a blink of an eye, his life was over. He had died unexpectedly. A clot had entered his lung and stopped his heart. He was there one moment, and gone the next. Life is terribly fragile like that.

Our 14 years together flashed before my eyes in an instant.

After he took his last breath, I caressed his pale cheek, and spoke soft loving words to him. Though his body lay dead, I felt this overwhelming feeling that he was not gone at all. I felt in a very powerful way that he still lived, and I knew it! His mortal husk lay sleeping, but his spirit was as vibrant and full of life as ever. I felt him near me in the hospital room.

I feel him near me still.

It has been 9 months since my husband died. It has been lonely from time to time, but it has also been amazing to feel the power of the covenants we made to God, and each other. In the time he has been gone, I have come to understand the sealing power of the temple. We are still bound together. Though his mortal life was cut short, his eternal life was not. We still have forever before us.

There is great Heavenly power that comes from the promises of the temple. Charles is still permitted to be very close to me and our children, because we made covenants with God, and those covenants go two ways -- if we keep our end, Heavenly Father is bound to keep His. Having the sealing power of the temple in our lives is like having a forcefield of love and joy placed over our hearts, while we are parted. The more I live up to my temple covenants the more joy, light, and love I feel envelope me, and protect me from pain and sorrow.

Miraculously, I have experienced a power in my life so bright, that I have felt protected from the full weight of sorrow and grief. I have been lifted in my burdens, and strengthened to handle the path before me. The more I go to the temple, the more this power holds firm in my life. It is a power so strong that despite losing my husband, I still feel happiness in my soul.

How do I feel about temple marriage? To me it is everything. 14 short years with the love of my life is certainly not enough. If we had been married, "until death do you part," our relationship would be finished, it would be over -- the end. But because we were sealed in the temple -- by the power of the proper authority -- our relationship continues on now... and forever.

And forever might just be enough time with my beloved Charles.