A Widow's View on Women and the Priesthood

I have read over a few blog posts recently, on the topic of Women and the Priesthood. I wanted to add my own voice, and declare my position on the subject. I have wrestled with whether or not I should even write anything -- but my mind will not let the topic alone, so I better get my thoughts out… and let it be known where I stand. These are just my thoughts, and not a complete gospel discourse. For greater and more beautiful detail go: HERE.

My feelings on the topic of Women and the Priesthood are simple. I could end this post with one sentence, and it would be this…

Only men hold the Priesthood in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, because God said so!

The End. 

I am very tempted to leave it at that, because that is how my faith operates. My faith is not convoluted by doubt and confusion. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love that there is a Prophet who leads and guides the Church, under the direction of the Savior. If the prophet says, "Jump!" I ask, "How high?"  I know that he will only ever declare the will of God, and I want to do what God would want me to do. I know that following the teachings of my Heavenly Father will lead me to the greatest joy and happiness. Whereas, fighting against God will lead to pain and misery -- I'm not really interested in experiencing self-inflicted misery, especially now. 

I am not a blind follower. I never have been. I have an inquisitive mind, which you may have noticed while reading my blog posts. I have studied, prayed, searched, pondered, and it has been made clear to me that the Gospel found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. I have always believed it was true, but it took some effort to really KNOW it is true. And now, after walking through the fire of my faith, with the death of my husband, I declare to all the world it is true!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I have had questions -- of course I have had questions! Ask any member in my family, and they will tell you I am always asking questions about everything. But when it comes to the gospel, and the doctrine and teachings of the Church, I always ask my questions in a spirit of faith, and not in a spirit of doubt. The questions I ask are always in an effort to grow greater faith, to draw myself closer to my Heavenly Father -- and not distance myself from Him, through doubts.

I love my Heavenly Father, and my Savior, Jesus Christ. They have become my constant companions, more now, than ever before.

So, on that note, let's talk about The Priesthood for a moment. I am by no means an expert, but these are some of my thoughts and feelings…

I love that men have been chosen to hold the priesthood. I think it is wonderful -- absolutely marvelous. For me, there is no more beautiful sight than seeing a father blessing their newborn baby, or baptizing their children, or giving a father's blessing. It is a joy to watch the young men blessing and passing the sacrament each week. I think it is great that the Priesthood leaders of the church are men, and that they have been allowed that responsibility to serve God, in that noble capacity. There is something truly breathtaking when a righteous man is fulfilling their role as a priesthood holder, acting in the service of God. What a beautiful thing.

One of my last, and fondest memories, was watching Charles pass the sacrament, the Sunday before he passed away. I will never forget how he smiled at our family as he walked past us holding the bread and water. He loved passing the Sacrament -- it meant so much to him as a convert to the church. He never missed a Sunday, or a chance to take the sacrament, once he joined the church. He also loved participating in his priesthood duties. He served as President to the Elders Quorum, and to the Young Men, and he was often in charge of things -- but his favorite calling was serving in the nursery with the little kids. As his wife, I loved watching him perform the duties he was asked to perform -- it gave me great joy. It was so good for him to be able to administer to others, using the priesthood.

As a woman, I support men in their priesthood duties, 100%.

Before Charles died, I would do my best to encourage him to become the best man he could be -- including as a priesthood holder. I tried to build him up, not tear him down. I was not perfect at it, all the time -- but I did diligently try to help him see what a wonderful man that he was, and that he had unlimited potential. (He went from barely passing high school before joining the church, to becoming an Attorney with the gospel in his life.) I was often astonished at how he would respond to encouragement from me, rather than me offering complaints or criticisms to try and "change" him. (That never works, by the way!) He would often rise to the level of my praise, or fall to the level of my pestering. It is that whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing from Psychology 101.

Why do I bring this up?

Well, women, I think we could do a WAY better job at supporting the men in their roles as the holders of the Priesthood. They could use more encouragement, and uplifting words from us, helping them to rise and fulfill their very difficult and challenging role of administering service and ordinances to others. Just like the blessing of motherhood can also be a great challenge for women -- so it is for men, and the priesthood. It can be hard work! A little encouragement goes along way. If I were granted a do-over with Charles, I would send him out to fulfill his duties with a smooch, and hug, every time he left to serve.

Now I am the head of the household, and no longer have a Priesthood holder in the home.

This was never my desire. I loved having Charles around, and his influence on our family was a force for good -- so good, in fact, that his powerful influence still remains with us. I do miss having the priesthood in our home. It was such a blessing for us. Charles did a beautiful job offering father's blessings, giving blessings of comfort and healing, and all other services he was able to perform on behalf of our family. It was very meaningful for him to perform these services for our family, and he wrote about that in his journals. Being able to administer the priesthood for his family gave Charles great joy. He always loved being in the service of his God, and being an instrument in His hands.

Though I no longer have an in-home priesthood holder (until Daniel comes of age), I do have access to those who hold the priesthood at anytime, if I feel I need them for administering a blessing. (And I have!) I will also have to call upon a priesthood holder to baptize my 2 younger sons, when they turn 8. Charles would have done it, but he is gone. Do I wish, that as a woman, I could do it myself? No. Will it be a unique and special experience for whomever the priesthood holder is who steps-in for Charles? And for everyone else involved? Yes. 

The reality is, as a woman, I do not need the priesthood to access the powers of Heaven in my behalf, or on behalf of my family. There are some things I cannot do -- like Priesthood blessings -- but I have total access to my Heavenly Father, and His help -- 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. His prayer-line is open all day, and all night, as I have recently discovered. I have tested the power of the priesthood, by receiving many blessing throughout my life, and other sacred ordinances and experiences. I have also tested the power of a Mother's prayer -- and it is perhaps one of the most powerful forces in the world! I can testify to you that Heavenly Father hears and answers the cries and prayers of His daughters, just as clearly and powerfully as His sons -- no priesthood bestowal necessary.

There is something innately glorious about women -- something we, as women, just do not understand fully.

I think when the final curtain has fallen, and all the unanswered questions of this world are revealed in totality -- we will all stand amazed at Heavenly Father's love for his daughters, and His plan for us. All of the cries of inequality, fairness, and rights, will come to a screeching halt as the true glory of Womanhood is revealed to us, in complete fullness. If we could just catch a small glimpse into who we really are… even just for a moment… perhaps the clawing and scrapping would stop, and we as women would stand firm in the truth, we would put aside the pride in our hearts, and become the queens we are meant to be.

Kings and Queens have different responsibilities, but they are both royalty. Perhaps we can allow the Kings (Men) to do what they have been assigned to do, while we Queens (Women) do what we have been assigned to do? Yes? Yes. If we work together, we can get so much more accomplished. The goal is to build the Kingdom of God. Let's not forget that.

It is not about equal rights, it is about responsibility.

Women have been given certain responsibilities placed upon their shoulders. Motherhood stands of utmost importance, but there is so much more we are to do in the service of our God. So much more to do, in fact, that adding to our shoulders the duties of carrying the priesthood might just break our backs. I, for one, feel like I have plenty of service responsibilities to fulfill without adding more duties to my load. (I will forego the to-do list for lack of space, and time.) I am personally grateful for the division of labor and duties in the building up of the Kingdom of God! Women do not need to do everything! Thank goodness! 

I have never, ever, felt inferior to men in the church -- not ever. This is not to say that I have not run into men that were less than glorious -- I have met plenty of fallible characters along my journey, no doubt. But that is to be expected anywhere you go -- people are not perfect. I am not perfect. Are you?

As for being a woman in the Mormon church, I feel empowered -- not impaired. I currently teach the Gospel Doctrine class at Church to about 80 people. I am one of two teachers -- the other teacher used to be a Bishop. We teach as equals. Do I wish I were a Bishop, with all of the responsibilities, and duties that follow? NO WAY. Am I grateful for the wonderful men who take on such heavy burdens so beautifully? YES WAY!

Men have been called to fulfill certain roles in the Church, certain services and duties, and we should rejoice in that as women -- not fight against it. I am grateful for the inspired and divine way that the Church operates. I am grateful for the righteous men and women of the church, who do so much good in the world. I am happy to listen to the Prophet -- who is a man -- and follow his counsel. I am happy to listen to God -- who is a Man -- and follow His Counsel. Listening to the guidance and counsel of men is not a problem for me. Being served by men fulfilling their priesthood duties and capacities is not a problem for me. I think it is great and beautiful!

Don't fight against doctrine, it won't make you happy.

I do not understand why some women (and men) have a desire to fight against the doctrines of a religion they profess to love. It is, honestly, baffling to me. If you love the gospel, than live it. It is unfortunate that these women do not know who they truly are, as daughters of God. I think we only understand the very tip of the iceberg when it comes to the glory of women, and how much our Heavenly Father truly loves us, as His daughters.

God loves us, and requires our obedience -- not our defiance.

I know with the recent experiences that I have had, as a widow, having seen death, and pondering life after death -- I have a greater appreciation of my knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, His plan, and His teachings. I also have a greater knowledge of who I am as His daughter, and the relationship that I have with Him, as my loving Father.

I know, that at any moment, I could be taken back to Him who gave me life, and I will have to stand in front of Him, and give an account of all of my dealings here on Earth. We will all die and stand before our God -- you can pretend you won't, but you will. 

I hope to always be found standing for my Heavenly Father at all times, in all things, in all places.

For me, it is simple. The Priesthood is His power -- God's power -- and I will certainly never be found fighting to take a piece of it for myself, for my glory. Whatever God deems fit to grant me in the future, is up to Him, and I will accept what He offers me, without question of whether or not it is fair because I am a Queen, and not a King. He is my All-Knowing and All-Loving Father, and I trust Him, completely. 

The power to give or take away is in His Omnipotent Hands -- not in the weak and fleshy hands of mortals making demands for His power. You can scrape and claw for the things that you want from Him, but if He does not see fit to give it -- if it is not aligned with His will -- you better stop begging, or He might just get upset. I have been reading the Old Testament lately, and you don't want to make God angry. It never ends well.

Men hold the priesthood, with a sacred duty to use it for the blessing of all of the children of God -- simple, straightforward, to the point.

It is not about who has the right to hold the priesthood -- it is about who has the responsibility to hold the priesthood. God has declared that the responsibility of the priesthood is for men.

As for me, a woman, a widow, and the head of my household -- I stand with God on this issue.