God Thinks I'm Beautiful

Women want to feel beautiful. I believe it is because women are inherently beautiful. Perhaps our very spirits were made with an extra sparkle of heavenly grandeur, woven into the feminine fabric of life. This beauty I speak of is not something exterior, but something that radiates from the interior. No matter the appearance and genetic makeup of the fleshy tabernacle which you now possess, the power and splendor of your divine spirit can burst through and shine.

We are meant to shine. God wants us to shine.

So often women do not see this grand beauty in themselves. I think they feel that spark of something glorious inside of them, because it wants to get out. The real "shiny" you wants out! But rather than igniting the transcendent inner light, enormous efforts are focused on making the external flesh picture-perfect, and frightfully flawless. Women can quickly fall prey to the dark lie that physical perfection, equals true beauty. This is not what God requires of women -- He loves us no matter what! 

It is a message whispered from the dark side.

It is a trap. A very deceptive trap.

There is a very cunning and crafty adversary that wants to keep you weak, and weary, in your efforts for perfection. He wants you to believe that no one will love you, unless you measure up to the ideals of the world. He works hard -- along with his hosts of darkness -- to take out powerful, righteous, women. He wants to leave you feeling inadequate and lacking. He wants you to focus on your imperfections. He wants weakness to swirl in your mind, and to keep you immobilized by fear. If he can cause insecurity and doubt, he can not only destroy you, but generations. He wants to claim you, and your confidence.

But you cannot give it to him!

Be strong! Fight back!

Use that light within you to conquer the darkness.

The beauty of a righteous woman is innately there. We are all born with the light of heaven in us, it is just waiting to by nourished -- not buried in self-doubt. Inside of a woman is something divine, something queenly, something radiant. If that radiant divinity is nurtured, it will be seen on the outside. It has nothing to do with the contours of her cheeks, the color of her hair, the shape of her body. It has everything to do with allowing the light within to come out. When the light shines, that is true beauty. I am sure you have seen it. I know I have.

I am without a companion now. I do not have someone around all the time, to tell me I am beautiful. I used to hear those words of validation, and often. He used to help me feel lovely by the way he would look at me, compliment me, and wrap his arms around me. He loved me no matter what I looked like. He saw it all, but he also really saw me. It is wonderful to be loved, and nice to be beautiful to someone. I miss it. Of course I do. But he is not around to tell me, or reassure me, so I have learned that I need to know it without him. I need to feel beautiful simply because I am me -- not because someone tells me so. And that is the real trick.

But I have learned that even without that validation from my companion -- or anyone else -- I am still beautiful.

How do I know this?

God has told me so, and I believe Him. He continues to fill me full of His light and grace. It is yet another miracle for me.

The other day I was out running with the sun caressing my face, and I had this overwhelming feeling of love coming from Heaven. And then I heard a voice whisper, "Mari, you are awesome. You are so awesome." As I heard this voice, I knew it was the Spirit giving me a message from my Heavenly Father. And in that moment, I felt divinely awesome. I felt like I was flying. I was proud of myself. And I knew that God was proud of me. He thinks I am awesome! He even told me so. It was amazing. I felt like He had revealed to me a new super power.

After being told I was awesome, I prayed and asked God to help me see myself, as He sees me. I was not sure how He would answer my prayer, but I was on the lookout for His answer. I knew He would answer my request, because it was important to me, and God has a special love for widows.

He answered me.

I was in the temple, and I was wearing my new white dress I got myself for my birthday. It is a beautiful princess type dress. I was standing next to a mirror, and I caught a glimpse of my reflection staring back at me. My hair was long and flowing, my face and eyes were bright and happy, and my new dress made me shine with great light. I had never seen this girl before. I knew I was looking at myself, but it was someone much more beautiful looking back at me. And I saw it...

I saw what God sees. I caught a glimpse of who I am to Him. Of who I really am.

I was breathtaking. I was glorious.

I felt beautiful the whole time I was in the temple. It was a new and wonderful sensation. It burned from within me, and my reflection implied it was glowing outside of me too. Whether anyone else noticed made no difference to me. Because I felt beautiful. And that is what I longed for.

As I walked into the Celestial room -- a Heavenly room full of light and glory -- I found an open chair and sat down. But this time, I did not just sit casually, and without purpose. This time I sat up straight, put my feet flat on the floor, cupped my hands on the end of the armrests, and I held my head high -- like a queen. In that moment I did not doubt my greatness, my divinity, my noble heavenly heritage, or my beauty.

In that moment, while sitting like royalty, I caught a glimpse of something deep inside of me, something eternal -- extending both directions. I felt a surge of energy as I pondered who I was before I came to earth, who I am now, and who I can become. An unknown power flowed through me, and I felt truly confident. I felt of eternal value. I felt like I was extremely important to God. I felt like His daughter. I felt like a queen.

Sometimes as I am going through the daily activities of life, the queen in me can be weighed down with life's seemingly monotonous tasks, and the routine. The deceitful messages of worldly beauty can play tricks on my mind, and burden my heart when I don't measure-up. But all of that "routine" is shaping me into something more glorious than I can even comprehend now. And all of those worldly messages are only an attempt to destroy the true beauty that exists within me. The beauty within can last forever, if I embrace it. It will never diminish with time, but grow more powerful and resilient to the darkness.

God allowed me a glimpse of who I really am.  He showed me that I am divinely beautiful.

He showed me that I am a queen... and so are you.

Let your light shine.

Put aside the insecurities, and become the queen you are meant to be.

The picture is me and my beautiful, bright, sisters.